For the brides who have absent or deceased fathers this one's for you.
For the bride who is about to walk down the aisle, there are an infinite amount of details to account for. Flowers, venue, dress, bridesmaids and the list goes on. It's all fun, and pink, and white, and loves and giggles, and tears of joy. But for the bride without a father, there are another kind of tears. There are no words. It's such an epic vast void that is undeniable.
Everyone knows that the father is supposed to traditionally walk you down the aisle and give you away to the new main man in your life. But what if there is no father to walk you? What if you walk alone? What if you've been walking alone for a majority of your life, ignoring this gaping hole and then on a random Sunday you go to breakfast with your fiance and break out in an unexpected cry about the fact that you cannot avoid this void anymore?
Well for all of you hot little engaged chiquitas out there I am here to tell you not only can I relate, but I was literally that girl at breakfast today. I have spent such a vast majority of my life looking on the brighter side, focusing on the positive, getting certified in life coaching and programming myself to manage my emotions so well that apparently I forgot I was sad about this.
Luckily your body stores your emotions for you and just when you are ready, it lets them out. For those of you who may be experiencing the same dilemma, I am here to tell you I am with you. I am not going to give you some cookie cutter, look on the bright side type of answer here. It just wouldn't be right. I have a total and complete reverence for the finality of death and the void it leaves behind. So I will not cheapen this profound pain by jumping on the silver lining.
But what I will do is give you some solutions to move forward with. For the bride who doesn't know who will walk her down the aisle here are four options to solve this issue.
- Walk alone: it's kind of a bad ass statement of your super woman self.
- Have your fiance's father walk you: an appropriate replacement as he will be your new father-in-law anyway.
- Have your brother or male cousin walk you: loving comforting masculine energy will bring comfort as you are walking down the aisle.
- Have your bad ass single mother walk you: she killed it as your mother and father anyway, why not have her show off her skills one last time?
Truthfully there are many more options that can work. I have seen the groom's son walk the bride. I have seen best friends walk the bride. These days tradition is out and authentic connection is in. So you can always have an honorary father or someone you considered a father figure walk you as well.
But let's be real this blog is not about that. This blog is for the super women out there. The ones who always hold it together. The ones who may have forgotten that they are sad. This is to say to you that it is okay to be sad.
You deserve to have a strong masculine energy put you at ease as you are to perform the most profoundly feminine act you ever have in your life to date. I am sorry your father is not here to do that.
I know you will find a way to have absolute joy on your day where you marry the love of your life, where you two will become one. But I am just here to say it is okay to be sad if you miss your dad.
Allow yourself the honor and liberty to feel however you feel and do not judge or criticize your emotions. You are free to feel however you feel and I honor you in your strength and your vulnerability on this day.
Yours in love and freedom,
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