Relationship For Women: Find Freedom In Boundaries


Relationship For Women: Find Freedom In Boundaries
Advice on how to be a free spirit.

A lot of people look at boundaries as rules that box them in and frustrate them. So there's a big debate as to whether rebels — people who walk to the beat of their own drum and dig on freedom — are really into boundaries or not.

I am a rebel. I get off on freedom in a way that could be considered excessive. Even when I try to live a "normal" life, I simply cannot. My inner rebellious spirit rears its ugly head (or smart head, rather) and asks, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?! OH HELL NAW!"

So I get it. I am with you if you are a freedom monger, and a person who walks to the beat of their own drum. But here's some relationship advice for women:

There is freedom in boundaries. Booyah.

First of all, in order to even set boundaries at all you must first know yourself. (Quoting Aristotle there, yeah that's right I'm smart). But I digress... It is a very rebellious act to look within and ensure that you are walking the road less travelled in order to have that extraordinary life you know you deserve.

When you are a rebel, a thought leader, a leader of yourself, you take the time to look within. And once you do, you get to know what makes you tick. What gets you upset. What gets you excited. What makes you feel happy, loved, healthy and respected.

These are the rules to the game of life. Get clear on what they are, and follow them vehemently. That is what will lead you to an extraordinary life by your design. And let me tell you something: you don't get to that life by being a people-pleasing sweetie pie who never sets boundaries. Oh hell no. In fact, I realize that the more boundaries I set, the more the lines painted on my road less travelled are brighter and easier to follow.

This is why there is freedom in boundaries. A mind with no direction is a confused and idle mind. We must say, yes, or no, or go there, or go here to ourselves in order to have the life we desire.

This also applies to friends, family, and relationships. If I went to hang out at my mom's house as often as she wanted me, to I'd never have the time to pave my road. That's not to say my mom isn’t the most amazing woman ever (she totally is); it just means that I am a focused driven rebel and I know what I need to do to live my extraordinary life by my design. Same goes for you. 

I want to inspire people to be their own rebel and go down their own road. I cannot do this when I'm hangin' at home, being fed delicious Egyptian food (although I need a bit of that from time to time; thanks mom!). Bill Cosby has some brilliant quote that I put in my book that states that the quickest and easiest way to failure is by trying to please everybody.

So do yourself a favor. Write your own rules to your game of life, paint them loud and proud on your road less travelled, and stay within the lines Being a rebel doesn't mean you always buck the rules. It just means that you pick your own by your volition, and you stay the course.

If you want help writing the rules to your own badass lifestyle, I can help you with my Rebel Rule Book. You can download it for free at

Thanks for reading and being a part of the movement.

Yours in Freedom,

More relationship advice for women from YourTango:

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Recent Expert Posts
Spa Retreat

The Pursuit of Peace

Peace is a journey not a destination. It represents a gift you give yourself.

Hug Text

Julianne Hough about the Demise of Her Relationship with Ryan Sea

Having one foot out, not wanting to ruffle feathers,+trying to be perfect can devastate your bond.

chilly walk

5 Ways to Stop Self-Sabotaging Your Dream

We all have a dream. To do the very thing that we love to do that makes us feel fulfilled, ...

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>