Is Anxiety Ruining Your Relationships?

Worry is the quiet storm that continues to rock your boat and anxiety is the tsunami that sinks it time and time again.
 

Anxiety can wreck relationships because left unchecked the runaway thoughts and behaviors that it generates can become so problematic that we actually drive the people we want close to us, further away.
 

Let’s look at Jennifer’s scenario. Jennifer is an attractive woman in her early thirties who works as a paralegal in a busy law firm. When things is her personal and professional life are relatively calm and predicable she feels a sense of control and balance. When something triggers feelings of concern, her cycle of anxiety begins. If her triggers were tripped every once and a while, there would be no real issue, but she’s constantly experiencing mild to moderate anxiety.
 

She called her best friend on Monday evening. It’s Wednesday afternoon and she has not heard back. She wonders if her friend is angry at her for some reason. In addition, she’s in a new relationship. She had a great date on Saturday and received a warm text message, thanking her for sharing time. However she was anticipating a request for another date, not a mere text. She feels sullen, sad, and rejected. She’s anxious three days later and wondering why another man has chosen to walk away from her. She begins to debate with herself, “Should I call him, text him back, or just break it off before he drops the hammer?” She decides to call and ask him what has turned him off so quickly. Needless to say, nothing had turned him off until he received her phone call.

Let’s face it when we getting to know someone, the only information we have to make critical judgments about whether or not we wish to continue on- is the information they give us through their thoughts and actions. If we behave in a way that confuses, concerns, or frightens others; they do what we would do- back off. Ironically Jennifer’s anxiety caused her to manufacture the very situation she was trying to avoid.
Millions of Americans battle anxiety every day, and some don’t even know it. They chalk it up to feeling tense or stressed and eventually get used to coping with these chronic feelings of restlessness and debilitating worry. ANXIETY IS EXHAUSTING and what’s more, it’s an unnecessary way to live your life.
 

Anxiety can result from genetic factors, as a result of certain DNA strands that are passed down from your biological parents or it can be triggered by certain environmental cues. For example a little boys grows up in a house with very little stability and predictability. One day his parents are in a good mood, and treat him well; the next they are yelling at him for no good reason. He was not born with any genetic factors that would predispose him to develop anxiety organically, but as a result of the way he was parented in his home environment he developed a generalized anxiety disorder over time. In other words he learned a coping and response pattern that was anxious and unsure. If he does not seek treatment for the disorder it could morph into a full blown severe anxiety disorder. Can you imagine how this child will function in his adult relationships if he does not learn new ways to cope and or seek pharmacological intervention?