There's no denying that online dating has made it easier for singles to meet, but unfortunately, it's also easier to keep choosing the same type of date over and over again.
Imagine this. You've got the perfect outfit on, you're feeling great — it's time to have a face-to-face with the person you met online and you're excited. You arrive early at your local coffee shop. In walks a person looking like he came straight from the gym.
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You're pretty sure he's not your date, but the face looks vaguely like the online picture. He walks towards you, bumps into another customer without apologizing, and then says your name.
You feel like disappearing, and probably should. Your mind is racing and you wonder how this could be happening again. You thought you'd been careful about screening his online dating profile and you followed all the right steps, communicating by email and phone. So why does this keep happening?
First, you're not alone. More and more singles are reporting that they're attracted to the same type of person online, and it's not working for them. People are catching onto the tricks to draw people in online, and it's becoming harder to discern truth from fiction.
There is a three-step solution to this problem designed to help you screen and sort potential dates before you ever meet them in person.
1. First, get very clear about the values you're looking for in a partner. These are the absolutely essential characteristics your partner must have.
To do this, take the time to identify what you don't want in a partner. What are the negative characteristics you've seen in the people you've met online? An inability to listen? Being too caught up in themselves? Insecurity? Self-centeredness? Be very specific.
Now, list the opposites of these traits — good listener, unselfish, secure with self, other-centered. These are the values you want. They're non-negotiable.
2. Next, review your online profile and introduction. Be sure to mention your values because this will help screen out people who are not attracted by the qualities that are important to you.
You can word the values portion of your profile like this: "I'm a strong, values-oriented person who places a lot of importance on honesty, ability to make a commitment, humor, giving to others and being involved with family. My ideal partner will share these values, too." Keep reading...
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