10 Common Myths About Infidelity Debunked!

By

infidelity myths debunked
Knowing the truth can help you get back on the path to healing.

An affair could happen to anyone, from the local politician who gets caught with his pants down to the next-door neighbor who sleeps with her kid's karate teacher. When people find out about infidelity, they often make all kinds of assumptions about why people are having affairs. Even if someone cheated in your life, you may have thought you understood what affairs are all about.

We live in a hush-hush culture when it comes to infidelity and it's not so easy to sort fact from fiction, and many of the common beliefs about affairs are wrong. Here are the 10 most common myths and the truth behind the scenes:

1. Most people who cheat are looking for an affair when it happens. In fact, the majority of time, an affair happens to people who aren’t looking for it. This is particularly true in cases in which a partner had had only cheated with one person. Affairs often begin as friendships, which are followed by intimacy, which can then shift into a full-blown tryst.

2. Most people drift from their spouses for someone younger or more attractive. Think of the Arnold Schwarzenegger affair with his housekeeper. While in some cases, the chronically philandering corporate CEO might seek out younger sex mates, typically paramours are no younger, richer or more attractive than spouses.

3. Affairs almost always spell the end of marriage. More than 50 percent of marriages can survive infidelity. Although the relationship may break up from other issues in the future, many couples are surprised when they find that they can stay together after an affair.

4. Once a cheater, always a cheater. While it is true that some individuals have repeated affairs, many affairs are a once and done thing. What happens after the affair can set a marriage on a course for stability or blow it out of the water. After ending the affair, the person who cheated must be completely honest for healing to take place. Keep reading...

More infidelity advice from YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Scott Haltzman

Psychiatrist/MD

Scott Haltzman, MD Psychiatrist and Author: "The Secrets of Surviving Infidelity"  "The Secrets of Happily Married Men,""The Secrets of Happily Married Women," and "The Secrets of Happy Families." www.DrScott.com

Location: Naples, FL
Credentials: MD
Other Articles/News by Scott Haltzman:

Recovering After An Affair: Tips For A Meaningful Apology

By

According to Arnold Schwarzenegger's autobiography, Total Recall, after he committed adultery with his housekeeper, he denied to his wife Maria Shriver that the child was his — because he "didn't know" he was the father. Having both lied and cheated, there's little room for doubt that Arnold had wronged his wife.  When, ... Read more

Friend Or More? The Affair You Don't Realize You're Having

By

In a previous blog post, I explained that the best way to avoid having an affair is to be wary of people who don't care about the happiness of your marriage. Many people worry that the only solution to this problem is to avoid anyone of the opposite sex — but that's simply not true! Think about it: If you were to follow this advice to the ... Read more

5 Unexpected Emotions You Will Feel After Discovering An Affair

By

If you're lucky, you'll never have to know what it's like to be the victim of infidelity. Still, the statistics aren't promising: About 60 percent of men and 40 percent of women will have an affair at some point in their marriages. If you've been the victim of an affair, you know that it hits like a punch to the gut. The many emotions that ... Read more

See More

GET MORE ARTICLES LIKE THIS IN YOUR INBOX!

Sign up for our daily email and get the stories everyone is talking about.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Stories we love
FROM AROUND THE WEB