The 4 'Golden Rules' Of Sending Get-A-Real-Date Messages On Tinder

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The 4 'Golden Rules' Of Sending Get-A-Real-Date Messages

Don't just send emojis and canned flirts.

Communicating with your online dating interest can be confusing. Should women send first messages? What do you write in a first message? What about flirts, winks and smiley faces? Should you send or respond to them?

What if you're shy? Making the first move can feel daunting, and it's OK that you're shy, but if you don't move a little out of your comfort zone, you'll probably get ignored. So how do you overcome your shyness? 

Here are four tips for writing messages to your online interest that will get you noticed in no time.

1. Make the message personal.

Pick out one item from his profile that grabbed your attention and include it in your message. I like to choose the most obscure thing he wrote. For example, if he writes that he's a doctor but has a secret desire to write a novel, ask him about that book. Then tell him that you get along well with creative men.

2. Write a clever subject line.

He'll be more likely to open your message if you write something fun, smart, or unusual in your subject line. Make it pop. "Greek Isles on your bucket list, too?" or "Jumping on a trampoline?" shows him that you read his profile and are commenting on something personal.

3. Ask him a good question.

One of the biggest mistakes people make is ending a message without asking a question. If you include a question at the end, he'll be more likely to respond. And don't use "yes or no" questions. For example, if a guy says he's an animal lover, don't ask, "Is that dog in the photo your favorite pet?" That will elicit a "yes" or "no" answer. Instead, ask, "What was your favorite pet of all time and why?"

4. Don't sound too needy.

Keep the tone casual, light, and fun in your first message. If you come on too strong, he might label you as needy or stalker-ish and won't respond. This isn't a game show where you're shouting, "Pick me, pick me!" Think of the first message as an exploration. You're an adventurer out in the wilds of online dating, and you're trying to figure out if you're compatible or not. You're just as much the chooser as he is the picker. Don't lose sight of that.


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