A few years ago, I found myself frustrated with the quality of men I was meeting online. If you keep doing the same thing, you’ll keep getting the same results; according to Einstein, that’s the definition of insanity. Einstein also said, "It's not that I'm so smart; it's just that I stay with problems longer." So, I sat with this problem, and came up with a new solution.
What about being fixed up? Setups can be a great way to meet your match, but in midlife, it’s not so easy. Only a few of my friends and family were setting me up, and the dates were not very compatible. You’ve probably experienced something similar. Your friends say, "I think you’re amazing. I wish I knew a great guy to set you up with. But, unfortunately, I don’t know anyone."
So, I decided to try something based loosely on what I learned from dating coach/matchmaker/author Rachel Greenwald. I asked for a setup with a twist. I sent out an email campaign to friends and family, asking them to set me up with people they knew. I got mixed responses (some people thought I was nuts/strange/outrageous), but I did get set up on some wonderful dates.
Email Campaign for Setups:
I hope you are well. As you may know, I have been actively dating for about two years since my divorce. I have met some wonderful men (and some not-so-wonderful men). I have dated men that I’ve met online and offline, through set-ups and at social events.
Lately, I have found dating to be quite frustrating. I am ready for a long-term committed relationship. I’d like to eventually get married again and get it ‘right’ this time. As a dating coach, I advise my clients to try many avenues to find the right guy, so I’ve decided to try something new. And for that, I need your help.
I am writing you because you are an important person in my life, and I believe you are connected to some wonderful people. You probably know many men I don’t know. Do you work out at a gym? Do you take classes with smart single men? Do you work with a nice guy who might be a good fit for me?
Would you be willing to think about men between the ages of 47 and 65, who might fit the type that I’ve outlined in my online dating profile below? I am not looking for a ‘single man meets single woman because they’re both single’ kind of fix-up, but one where we’re truly well suited for each other.
I have attached my JDate.com profile, with the hope that it will give you a better idea about what types of qualities and values are important to me. I am hoping you will forward it to the right man. Who knows? With your help, perhaps I’ll be able to find Mr. Right.
One more thing: If you help me find him, you will be generously rewarded. The right man is worth his weight in gold to me.
Thank you for any help you may provide in helping me find my guy.
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