In the world of psychology, resilience, or the ability to bounce back from adversity, is an important aspect of emotional stability. Generally, it seems that when we are young, a strong sense of self, held by protections in our environment, helps us to develop a sense of resiliency later in life. That is, some children have the good fortune of strong role models who are able to project a sense of well-being for the children, despite adversity.
Additionally, it seems that some children tend toward a higher tolerance for challenges from the outside. As these children begin to devise their worldview, they see the world as a generally safe place to live in, and they project this belief into their adult lives. In other words, be it through nature or nurture, they exhibit resilience when the going gets tough. How To Use Resilience To Face Challenges
More from YourTango: Is A Democrat-Republican Relationship Doomed?
Some of us, however, are not so lucky. Whether it is due to the lack of strong protections from the outside or from the inside, some of us seem to be of the ultra-sensitive variety. As a therapist, I have heard numerous stories of adult clients who have poor resilience due to the impact of childhood experiences.
A common scenario is that there was discord in the family, and these ultra-sensitive children attempt to help the adults by absorbing the negativity in the environment into their own psyches. They are deeply affected by the lack of safety in the environment and tend to develop a worldview that there are few safe havens in the human experience. And because of these beliefs, they attract people and situations that are aligned to this worldview. 10 Tips To Re-Bond With Your Child/Children
While ultra-sensitive people seem to be at a disadvantage when it comes to resiliency, there is a silver lining in this cloud: intuition. I recall as a child that when my father was angry, I would retreat into my closet and play with my toys. At the same time, I was listening intently to what was going on around me. I did not know at the time that this intense listening was training for highly developed intuition. I learned to sense when it was "safe" to come out, when the coast was clear and the storm cloud had passed. Over the years, this ability to sense situations and people has held me in good stead, particularly when difficulties came my way and I was not sure which way to turn.
More from YourTango: Cheaters & The Women They Date: 4 Things You Should Know
Learning to listen to your intuition can be challenging at first. Your intuition may tell you to take a turn that you do not understand. Listening to my intuition has taught me that there is a flow to allowing those waters to sweep you into a mysterious world in which things somehow work out in surprising ways. How To Become A Better Listener
A few years ago, my husband lost his job, just at the start of the economic downturn. We were able to sell our house, but the next step was unclear. We put our belongings in storage and took a road trip, looking for work and for signs that would indicate our next move. Gradually, as we considered various options, a strong feeling that I could not shake came over me: our next move would be to Colorado.