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Secret Psychology

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By Rori Raye

What is that special something that makes a man crave being around you, that makes him want to know everything about you and more? What’s the secret to being just a friend in his mind to someone he’s falling for?

More from YourTango: The #1 Way To Inspire His Devotion (Plus 3 Common Mistakes)

A man falls in love with you because he knows he can be himself around you.

He can be himself around you when he feels safe expressing his innermost, private feelings with you. This can only happen when he senses that you can handle your feelings, too. This doesn’t mean controlling or stifling your feelings, it actually means expressing them in a vulnerable and authentic way.

Once a man feels safe around you, he starts to long for your company, for your touch, and for your affection. He may not even know why he feels this way. All he knows is that there’s something special about you that he doesn’t feel with any other woman in his life. He’s in love.

This is the “secret psychology” I mention in the title of this article.

Many women don’t understand why a man falls in love. They think a man needs sex or has to have a fabulously gorgeous woman with a great body. They believe a man falls in love because a woman is sweet to him, kind, and giving. Especially giving.

A woman will cook lovely meals and offer deep, thoughtful advice on whatever troubles him. She’ll light candles whenever he comes over. She’ll put on lacey lingerie. She’ll become exclusive with him without even a passing thought to what she wants, or whether or not he has met her needs for a secure and loving relationship.

Sometimes, even after all this giving, he still tells her that he’s not sure how he feels, or becomes distant and moody.

So, how do you connect with a man’s feelings and prevent him from withdrawing emotionally? You do it by allowing yourself to feel whatever it is you’re feeling, and then communicate those feelings in a vulnerable, non-critical way. This is how he’ll feel safe and therefore connected with you. A man can’t feel safe around you if he isn’t sure how you’re feeling or if you’re pretending to be okay with something when you’re not.

For many women, this is a counter-intuitive concept. We’re not used to being juicy, sexy, feeling creatures. Women today are busy thinking, multi-tasking and accomplishing. Unfortunately, these are qualities that make a man feel nothing around you.

You magnetize a man by simply by being what you were always meant to be: an alluring woman who is soft and vulnerable on the outside, but strong and resilient on the outside.

More from YourTango: Get Your Man to Open Up

That is the secret to what makes him fall for you.

You can find out more about how to do what works to make a man fall in love with you and avoid doing the things that actually push a man away by signing up for Rori Raye’s free newsletters at www.havetherelationshipyouwant.com

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Rori Raye

Dating CoachRori Raye Author of "Have The Relationship You Want"
Location: Santa Monica, CA
Credentials: Other
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