Maybe you are a single mom, struggling to transition into date mode after wiping little chins and helping with homework, or maybe you are generally an over-giving gal, used to supporting and encouraging everyone around you. Either way, maternal tendencies may be sabotaging your love life if you are relating like a mom on dates, and actively "helping" men to date you. Guys get completely turned off when we try to do their job for them. They want your vote of confidence, not a helping hand. The best way to attract and hold the attention of a desirable man is to adopt a "when you’re ready come and get it" vibe.
Fortunately, the habit of dating and relating like a mom is easy to correct—but you have to be able to let go and trust him a little more. As he puts in more effort, your confidence will grow, and that's when things will really heat up!
Here are 6 dating tips that will make him feel like a man, and let him know you are one hot mama:
1. Stop helping men find your online dating profile. He knows how to search for profiles based on the qualities he cares about. If your profile is his idea of a match, he will be in touch. It is counterproductive to send up flairs and contact a man first. (He's reaching out to someone first, right?)
2. Flirt silently. The best way to signal that you're available is with your sexy hair, clothes, and heels. Go on—be a glitter girl. You don't need to walk across the room and grab him with a "hello." Let him notice you and approach if he likes your look. (Silent flirtation is always effective on dates, too.)
3. Leave your business cards at your office. The next time you're out with friends or at a singles party, and a cute guy asks for your number, don't turn down the heat and hand him a business card. Let him enter your number in his phone or scramble for pen and paper. If he offers you his card, thank him, rest it on the bar, and absentmindedly leave it behind. You weren't going to call him anyway, right?
4. Let men handle the follow-up after singles events. After a speed-dating or other matchmaking event, the host may send you contact information for potential dates; just wait and let the men get in touch with you first. Explain to any matchmaker that you're "old fashioned" and you don't feel comfortable making the first move—they will ensure that your deets are in the guys' hands.
5. Express your preferences, but don't plan the date. Let him suggest possible venues that are within his budget and that he thinks you may enjoy. (Hopefully, he has asked about your interests and favorite activities.) The art of seduction includes planning a memorable evening, so let him enjoy the satisfaction of impressing you.
6. No matter how fun and flirty his texts are, let him be the first to suggest meeting. Never invite a man for a coffee date, no matter how interested he seems or how much chemistry you sense between the lines. If he wants to spend time with you, he'll make it happen. If he doesn't pursue you, there is probably a good reason for it. Trust that there is a better match for you out there and move on.
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