An Insider's Guide To Gay Dating

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gay couple holding hands
Nine non-typical ways to meet gay men.

Quite honestly, there isn't anything about gay dating that hasn't already been said ... until now! Before I proceed, however, I need a commitment. I know, I know ... the dreaded "C" word. Well, boyfriend, if you can't commit, then you can't date — it's that simple! Like it or not, chiseled cheeks, abs and pumped up biceps don't mean the men are just going to drop in your lap like flies. You gotta work at it and go the distance to get beyond sloppy, messy, "Who are you?" mornings! With that in mind, here are 10 non-typical ways to meet gay men:

1. Give a little. Volunteer at a local charity, e.g. AIDS Walk, Trevor Project, HRC, GLADD Awards or LGBT Center. While you're at it, step out of your comfort zone and find some "straight charities" to participate in as well.

2. Bend over. Get your mind out of the gutter. I'm talking about taking a yoga, pilates, spin, tai chi, karate or kickboxing class. Any of these activities will take you out of your normal "lift weights, cruise the gym, treadmill, cruise the gym," routine. And of course, the added benefits: new muscles that will be sore so you'll have to schedule a massage with your regular guy, who, of course, won't be available, which then leads you to a new massage guy who then becomes your husband ... it could happen!

3. A pew and a prayer. By no means am I advocating church as the new speed-dating alternative. Yet, if you are exploring your spirituality, rewiring your religious DNA or trying to find a place to call your communal home with your maker, tap into local, accepting and affirming religious communities. Not only will you nourish your spirit, you may even find a man or two to go nosh with after the service. Here's a little directory to help you out: GayChurch.org

4. Club it! I'm not talking about night clubs. Rather, social clubs abound if you're willing to do a little digging. Do a Google, Bing, Yahoo search for "gay social clubs." Guaranteed to show up are groups like the SoCal Social Club in Los Angeles, the Rainbow RV Club and of course the thousands of groups on MeetUp!

5. Become a stag hag. Most of us have our favorite straight girlfriend who will do anything for us, go anywhere with us and be our arm candy for a night when necessary. So return the favor. Go to her third cousin's wedding, attend a Women's Empowerment Weekend Workshop or take a pottery class with her. Guaranteed, she will introduce you to more of her straight girlfriends who each have "the perfect gay friend you should meet."

More dating advice from YourTango:

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Rick Clemons

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Rick Clemons, The Gay Man's Life Coach & The Coming Out Coach

Rick is a straight-forward, compassionate, insightful, challenging, mentor, guide, and Certified Professional Coach who's been featured on The Ricki Lake Show, and is a highly sought after radio show personality, blogger, author, and faculty member of Sex Coach U. His loving, challenging, gentle, and inspiring approach ignites a fire in clients, helping them get through the darkest moments of life and come out the other side, kicking butt, and being authentically themselves.

Rick thrives, working with individuals, and those in their inner circle, as they embark on the journey out of the closet and beyond. He specializes in helping people build confidence, live their passion while loving their work, and live authentically. Authenticity isn't just a word he throws around lightly. It's the backbone of his practice and the manner in which he personnally strives to live each and every day of his own life.

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Location: Riverside, CA
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