Single & Fishing For Love? Here's How You Can Rock The Pond


It's time for you to FISH with the hooks and bait that will bring you everlasting happiness.

If you think being single sucks, maybe you're not fishing in the wrong pond, maybe you're a FISH who needs to come up for some new air!

All right. I'll admit; I've been in my current relationship, with my man, for almost 13 years. Prior to him, I was in my last relationship, with a woman, for 13 years, with a smattering of short-term guys between the two of them. So, it sounds like I proved that 13 isn’t an unlucky number. I'll let you know for sure when I reach 14 years in my current relationship.


After 26 years of relationship bliss, challenges, monotony and loads of happiness, you might wonder why I'm writing an article about being single and fishing for a relationship. Simply put, because I've been in your shoes, heels or loafers. I've been in the big pond of fishing for love and it isn't fun or pleasant until you realize, you're the pole, the hook, worm and fish—all in one!

For starters, FISH stands for…

F = Fear
I = Insecurity
S = Settling
H = High Expectations

All the single ladies, and men for that matter, live in a state of fear, insecurity, settling and high expectations when it comes to dating. Why? Why, why, why? Because, we can't stand the thought of rejection, being alone and being in the same boat as everyone around us — single and no plans on a Saturday night!

Society has a way of saying, "Ah, my child you are meant to be in a relationship, so go forth, find your match, prosper and procreate!"

And, if you don't walk the walk they think you should be walking, you're considered weird, a freak and from another world far, far, far beyond our universe.

I'm here to say, FISH doesn't have to mean the end to your relationship destiny. In fact, if singledom is your calling, then "rock on!"

Personally, I say let people be who they are until they find Mr. or Mrs. Right. Which they will, if it is in their best interest. And, if not, then there's a reason that single bliss, is single bliss.

However, here's my reinterpretation of FISH…

F = Fearlessness
I = Insight
S = Sanity
H = Hope

Fearlessness enables those who are single to keep on striving, and slaying the, "Oh, don’t you hate being single" dragons. In fact, if you're fearless, you're more likely to continue to kiss a lot of frogs without fear that you won't ever find, Mr. or Mrs. Right. In fact, you become a fearless dater and go with the flow.

Of course insight, is like having the license to Apple, and creating your own iROCK product, because you’ve been there done that. Shame on you if you can’t see that every relationship you’ve had, from parents, siblings, friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, etc. has given you more information than Encyclopedia Britannica, which does exist online, to step into your next relationship with eyes wide open!

What I personally love about the "S" in FISH, is "Sanity" because it’s the opposite of "Insanity." The craziness we put ourselves through over relationships, is 99 percent created by us, not other people. GASP! Yes! Because for some reason, we lack, in many cases the ability to open the lines of communication, and say what we desire in our relationships. The moment that door is open, we either see the truth of how capable we, and they are to be in this relationship, or we don't, which then gives us full license to move forward or not. Which then leads to the "H" in the newly revised "FISH" metaphor.

Provided we, yes, you, me, gay, straight, transgender, bisexual, etc. can finally embrace the fact that, the relationship we thought we were meant to be in, really wasn't where we supposed to be in our life, in this moment, the sooner we put on our dancing shoes and move into the new great award-winning dance number of our lives called HOPE!

Does it suck to be single? Only if you allow yourself to mire in that thought. Is there hope that you have the right fishhook to land someone? Only if you believe it to be true. Can you use your sanity to and insight to land the relationship of your dreams? Uh yes! If the Kardashians can still be headline news, trust me, you can find a solid relationship, even quicker than you can say, "Bruce Jenner is having a sex change!”

The only thing standing in your way is trust, love, and belief in yourself. If you latch onto false beliefs that your "ex" ingrained into your belief system, then shame on you, and get over it. It's time for you to FISH with the hooks and bait that will bring you everlasting happiness. And, that ain’t no Little Mermaid meets Prince Charming story!

Are you ready to step into a relationship that says, "I am me, hear me roar?" Tired of playing by society's rules about who you should be in a relationship? Take advantage of a complimentary, coaching session with Life Coach Rick and let's see what we can do to get you on the road to a mind-blowing relationship!

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Article contributed by

Rick Clemons


Rick Clemons, The Gay Man's Life Coach & The Coming Out Coach

Rick is a straight-forward, compassionate, insightful, challenging, mentor, guide, and Certified Professional Coach who's been featured on The Ricki Lake Show, and is a highly sought after radio show personality, blogger, author, and faculty member of Sex Coach U. His loving, challenging, gentle, and inspiring approach ignites a fire in clients, helping them get through the darkest moments of life and come out the other side, kicking butt, and being authentically themselves.

Rick thrives, working with individuals, and those in their inner circle, as they embark on the journey out of the closet and beyond. He specializes in helping people build confidence, live their passion while loving their work, and live authentically. Authenticity isn't just a word he throws around lightly. It's the backbone of his practice and the manner in which he personnally strives to live each and every day of his own life.

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Location: Riverside, CA
Credentials: ACC, CPC
Specialties: LGBT Issues (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender), Men's Issues, Sexuality
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