How To Recession-Proof Your Relationship

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How To Recession-Proof Your Relationship [EXPERT]
Don't let tough economic times affect your relationship.

These are tough economic times. Whether we have been hard hit by the economic recession through the loss of our job, concerned or depressed by the loss of our savings for retirement or in real estate, or worried about the future ... we are stressed. It is crucial to understand the different ways we deal with stress as men and women and to learn how to best meet each other's emotional needs.

If, for instance, a woman loses her job, is in fear of losing her job, or her income is reduced, she will want to talk about it. When a woman talks about problems and her partner is truly listening, her stress is reduced. She may very well talk a lot, with every small detail thrown in for good measure. A man shouldn't feel that he must now fix her problems and give unsolicited advice or suggestions. This is not what she wants. 6 Ways Men & Women Communicate Differently

A man should also never tell a woman how she should feel. While a woman is talking, a man may be tempted to interrupt and say, "Forget about it...Don't worry about it...It's no big deal." Her response may be, "You never listen to me...You don't understand...I never feel heard." Instead of a man helping to reduce her stress, his partner will feel invalidated or dismissed.

A man must understand that a woman unleashes her problems by remembering and talking about them. At times, a man may ask a woman "What's wrong?" and she says, "Nothing." Many times, "nothing" really means, "Nothing, unless you want me to talk about it and you listen." How To Talk So He Will Listen

If a woman is stressed, a man needs to be stressed with her for a while. A man just needs to breathe deep, listen intently, be interested — even inquisitive — and she will feel better without him having to do anything. A woman can help a man by reminding him he only needs to listen. If a woman wants suggestions, she must make it clear in what area she wants help. When offered, appreciate his input.

Now, if a man loses his job, is in fear of losing his job, or his income is reduced, he will not want to talk about it. A man wants to forget about his problems to reduce stress. A man thinks, "I've already done all I can do today, so why dwell on it?" When a man talks about his problems, it brings back all of his anxiety and stirs up the impulse a man has to fix problems.

A woman can misinterpret this normal way for a man to reduce stress anxiety to mean he didn't try hard enough today or he just doesn't care to share his feelings. He may be doing all he can do, but just doesn't want to talk about it. How Do I Get My Husband To Tell Me What's Wrong?

To avoid a woman's misinterpretation, a man must remember to routinely update his partner on his situation. But, a woman must also remember his need to then let it go and not pump him with questions. Her continued talking will make a man feel defensive because he will misinterpret her questioning to mean she doesn't trust his best efforts.

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Richard Drobnick - Mars & Venus Counseling Center

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