The Emotional Differences between Men and Women – Part One

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The Emotional Differences between Men and Women – Part One
What Men Wished Women Knew About Them

This month’s article will focus on what men wished women knew about them by listing below just a few ways women can better understand their partners.  Stay tuned for Part Two: What Women Wished Men Knew About Them.


1. After all this time, why do women still have such a difficult time understanding men?

Men and women are different. Our brains are wired differently, our hormones are different and our EMOTIONAL NEEDS are different. Men tend to do for women what men need and women do for men what women need. We tend to give what we want to receive. So, in the case of relationships, do NOT to unto other as you would have them do unto you.


2. You say there are key areas that highlight how a man’s emotional needs are different. Let’s start with Appreciation. What do you mean by that?

Men risked their lives for tens of thousands of years, going out on the hunt, protecting their families from dangerous neighbors, handling emergencies, etc. In those days, it was easy for women to appreciate men. Today, women can have jobs and earn good income, society has police and a general sense of safety, and they can even hire a handyman. Women don’t need men as much. Men have sort of lost their “jobs”.


3. So men need to feel needed?

Deep inside a man is a need that what he does has a positive impact on a woman. A man needs to feel that what he does has meaning and purpose.


4. So how can a woman help a man in her life in this area?

A woman needs to show and express appreciation for the little and big things a man does. She should tell him that she appreciates how hard he works, that she appreciates his raking the leaves, taking out the garbage, etc. Appreciation fulfills a man’s sense for meaning and purpose. When a man knows his efforts are appreciated, he is naturally encouraged to do more.


5. Is Trust a key emotional need for men?

A man needs to feel that a woman can count on him. That he’s a can-do guy. And a woman can help by expressing confidence in her man and that she knows he does his best and wants the best for her. Criticism drains a man of feeling trusted. If he makes a mistake, for example, forgets the milk, let him off the hook. A man certainly isn’t perfect, but a woman needs to refrain from making him into a “home improvement project”.


6. What does it mean when men need “Cave Time”?

This is time alone, perhaps reading a newspaper, watching sports, playing video games, etc. Men reduce stress by forgetting about their problems. It’s sort of a mini-vacation. We all know how taking a vacation helps us forget our everyday problems. Interestingly, women reduce their stress by talking about their problems! So women need to understand that men need to reduce stress in a different way.

 

7. What should a woman do when a man is in his Cave?

Article contributed by
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Richard Drobnick - Mars & Venus Counseling Center

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