In a world of online-dating algorithms, matchmaking reality television, and more blogs than we can possibly keep up with, we can easily be overwhelmed by all the dating advice. Let's get back to the basics with three simple steps to finding love.
1. Be your best self.
Before you can expect to find and keep a good relationship, you have to first take care of yourself well. We can all identify things about ourselves that keep us from being our happiest. Perhaps you want to become more organized, dress a little better, or lose a few pounds. If it adds stress to your life or brings you down, it is keeping you from being your most attractive and keeping you from presenting your best self to the world.
The simplest way to make these kinds of changes is to get help from skilled professionals. This doesn't mean you have to hire a personal chef, clothing stylist, and life coach, but it does mean you should seek out the assistance of such experts. Talk to the trainers at your gym, for example. Read online Experts articles. Shop (or at least try on clothes) at the smaller boutiques with the help of their well-trained staff. Many of these professionals are willing to help simply because they love what they do. Their advice can have a profound impact on how you take care of yourself and how you present yourself to potential partners.
2. Be open.
Many of us have a list of qualities we are looking for in a partner. We list some lifestyle habits or hobbies to have in common, and some physical traits to which we are most attracted. But what keeps love alive isn't the color of someone's eyes or whether or not they've been married. What keeps love alive is the feeling we get from being with that person.
Instead of focusing on the details of your list, take the time to discover what feeling you are hoping to attain from each quality listed. Be open to the idea that maybe the feeling you are looking for won't come in the exact packaging you expected. Be able to recognize what feels happy rather than what simply matches what you have listed. Many experienced daters will tell you that the person who looked best for them on paper was not the person with whom they felt the best.
To explore this idea, it would be helpful to take some time to go out and meet people with the simple goal of identifying how you feel around different people. You'll be surprised to see how comfortable, cared for, and connected you may feel around people who wouldn't have made it past your checklist.
It's also important to be open to the advice of people you trust, people who are in successful relationships. Learn from their experience by hearing their thoughts on your dating life. Surely you will be given some valuable insight to consider.
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