to the YourTango newsletter!

Continue to Site »»

ProConnect

5 Signs He Just Wants To Hook Up

By . Posted on .

guy
Guys can be hard to read.
Looking for a serious relationship? Beware of these warning signs.

In the early stages of dating, it can be difficult to tell what kind of relationship a guy is looking for. Does he just want to have fun, or is he hoping for something more? Here are five important signs that he's not looking for anything serious.

1. He tells you. If he has explicitly told you that he is not looking for a relationship or he's not looking for something serious, believe him. He is trying to be open and honest about what he can and can't give you. And don't be insulted; it's not about you. It's about timing.

More from YourTango: 5 Important Tips For Online Dating Success

He may be focused on his career, he may just want to have fun with his friends, or he may have more serious intimacy issues. None of that matters. If he says he's not looking for a relationship, there is nothing you can do that will change his mind.

2. He keeps his distance from you. He might say he wants a relationship but his actions may speak otherwise. If there's always a reason he can't spend too much time with you, he is keeping his distance from you. If he wants to be with you, he'll fit you into his busy schedule.

If you tell your guy that it makes you smile when he does XYZ and he stops doing XYZ, that is another clear sign he is keeping his distance from you. He may be doing this intentionally because he thinks making you smile will somehow transform what you have into a serious relationship, or he may lack the awareness and not realize the distance he's creating. Either way, a relationship can't form if he's keeping you at a distance.

3. He doesn't have any close friends. He may say he wants a relationship but if you notice that he doesn't have any close friends, he may not know how to foster intimate relationships. His idea of a close relationship may be very different than yours.

More from YourTango: My Love/Hate Relationship with HBO's 'Girls'

If he has spent a significant amount of time in a competitive environment, for example, he may not realize the importance of being vulnerable and open when in a relationship. If he has worked in a supervisory role for many years, he may not recognize the need to treat his partner as an equal. To get an idea of what he can offer, pay attention to the relationships he currently has. Keep reading ...

More dating advice from YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Rebecca A. Marquis

Author

Rebecca A. Marquis is the author of How to Be a Good Boyfriend: 34 ways to keep her from getting annoying, jealous, or crazy.

Location: New York, NY
Credentials: PhD
Specialties: Dating/Being Single Support
Other Articles/News by Rebecca A. Marquis:

5 Important Tips For Online Dating Success

By

1. Use good pictures. There are thousands of people on these sites, and there is going to be someone similar to you who has better pictures. And he is going to get the woman you want. If you want to meet good people, you need to have good pictures. It’s that simple. Your photos need to be clear and recent. Your dark, artsy photos are great as a ... Read more

My Love/Hate Relationship with HBO's 'Girls'

By

I can’t stop thinking about this last episode of GIRLS, the Season 2 finale in which everyone ends up happy. Adam rescues Hannah. Charlie takes back a crazy Marnie. Shoshana finds a new hot blonde to enjoy. And, of course, Jessa is off “living it up, wearing a crop top.” It reminds me of how I felt when I first listened to One Direction music ... Read more

5 Questions NOT To Ask Her On A First Date

By

I’m often surprised by the questions guys ask me on a first date. Some questions are too personal, and some questions seem to better fit a census than a date. To begin to get to know her without making her feel judged or surveyed, ask her about things she likes. Ask her how she likes to spend her time, and talk more about your common interests. But be ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
deep breath

How to Deal with Creepy Guys

How do you get rid of the creepy guy that you’re not interested in? You know, the ...

Sad Woman

5 Stages Of Grief During Divorce

Learn to recognize the stages of grieving over your divorce in order to heal and begin your new life

In Bed

Secret to Turning Your Fuddy Duddy Love Life Into Fireworks

Learn the trick to getting your stick-in-the-mud partner to be more sexually adventurous.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS