How the train wreck reality TV couple can provide a glimpse into real love.
Decisions, decisions. To break up or make up? To take the advice of your friends or do what you want? To listen to your head or listen to your heart?
Some of the most difficult choices we face have to do with those we love. There is a great power in choice, but sometimes it's incredibly difficult to know if we're making the right decision when it comes to pursuing or ending a relationship. You may be making excellent choices in nearly all areas of your life, but are you choosing well in love? How do you really know when it's time to call it quits? Should you get back on that rollercoaster when you think it can work the second, third or fourth time around? Is it sane to think it will work when nothing has really changed?
I'm a Dating & Relationship Expert who coaches people on all kinds of matters of the heart, and even I don't know the answer to these questions. I mostly know when my clients should break up, and I'm skilled at helping them heal. But sometimes, some clients—as well as my own relationships—throw me a curve ball. How can they not when I'm dealing with something as crazy and irrational as love? 3 Steps For Breaking Up With Someone You're Too Afraid To Confront
While it's often easy to establish what's right and wrong (as in, tolerating physical, mental or emotional abuse is wrong), it isn't always so easy to draw a line in the sand when it comes to emotions. To say what is healthy or unhealthy can be a false judgment if you don't really know the nature of one's relationship. And yet, many of us judge anyway—it's only natural.
When we watch others deal with their romantic relationships, we learn a lot. Sometimes, this knowledge comes from places we least expect. Case in point: many young people look to the media for examples of what to do in their own relationships. They'll let the actions of say, their favorite reality TV stars, dictate the direction their love lives will go. Seeing the characters they relate to experience drama and make decisions on national television can encourage them to stay or leave the one they're with. It can make them feel less alone and more normal to see others experiencing the same emotions and issues, or it can send them on a downward spiral if they get back with someone for the wrong reasons.
If you are a fan of the reality show, Jersey Shore, you probably know what I'm talking about. You've also probably made many judgments about the trainwreck that I affectionately refer to as Sammi and Ronnie. When I think of a relationship rollercoaster, there is no other well-known couple that comes to mind more than these two. They break up to make up, and the cycle seems to have no end in sight.
In a recent episode in which Sammi told Ronnie that she loved and missed him, it was pretty obvious they would get back together. Although Ronnie claimed he didn't want that, I just knew he would cave. In fact, I knew from this season's very first episode, because Ronnie and Sammi (and their friends and families) were still so focused on their dramatic relationship. So, when they made their status official, Snooki—who endured the ups and downs of the relationship—showed support for their reunion. It was hard to believe any of the housemates would after the catastrophic fights, destruction of furniture, tears, heartbreak, etc. Pauly D even said their relationship made him suicidal! Dating Tips From Jersey Shore Creator SallyAnn Salsano
Even so, everyone knows there is just something about this couple that sticks. They can't live with each other, or without each other — both are miserable together and apart. Call it crazy or call it love, but at least on the rooftop and in the sunsets of Italy, it looks like true love to me.
By watching Ronnie and Sammi, we get a glimpse into the beautiful absurdity that is love. While I don't know if this couple will make it for the long term, I do know this: true love is very forgiving, forgetful, blind, constant, patient and hopeful. Sometimes, it doesn’t know what is right or wrong. It knows that hurt is often inevitable, and feelings can fade but resurface.
Despite all of this, true love still wants to try.
If you need help dealing with your own true love, send an email to Rachel@RachelRusso.com. If you haven't quite found the love of your life, get Rachel's complimentary gift "7 Steps To Creating An Image To Attract The Love Of Your Life" with your free subscription to her Labels & Love Newsletter at RachelRusso.com