Screw the salacious cheating scenarios and make it work with your own man.
I get it—marriage is hard work, as the experts keep reminding us. Romantic pre-wedding days can morph into milquetoast or difficult times when a diamond ring might feel more like a miniature handcuff on your left hand.
During the worst of it, wives might start to question why they are following all these tactics to keep their weight down and treat their hubbies like the king of the castle when he can barely afford a glance in their direction during ESPN's Pardon the Interruption.
Suddenly, that neighboring "work husband" in the cubicle at the office starts looking really good—and for a second you might entertain thoughts of taking your flirtations to the physical level.
Here are 7 great reasons to pump your brakes:
1. Intensity doesn't equal intimacy
That's the wisdom put forth in Every Woman's Battle, a book wherein author Shannon Ethridge describes engaging in emotional affairs with several different men other than her husband. In the end, she realized that these passionate crushes were only intensified by their secrecy and newness—not because they contained the deep type of intimacy that married partners can share.
2. He could be hiding something dangerous from you
Your intended affair partner might be rippled with muscles galore, but if he's willing to engage in a deceitful relationship with a married woman, it helps to ask what else he's compromising morally. Perhaps he has an STD or psycho crazy killer streak he's not telling you about.
3. It doesn’t solve marriage problems
Like Dr. Phil says, never turn to folks outside the marriage in order to fix marital problems. If you're too bossy or your hubby isn't taking care of business between the sheets, address those problems and don't seek another man to fill the void.
4. A ruined reputation
Sure, adultery seems hot and heavy when the new man is filling your head full of flattery, but when things get exposed, he may lie and blame you for the whole affair. Imagine walking around town with everyone knowing you cheated, having been painted as the vixen in the scandalous scenario.
5. You could lose everything
Remember that movie Unfaithful? It started out so sexy and thrilling with Diane Lane's character getting involved with a handsome stranger, but ended with her wishing she'd just rebuffed his flirtations and gotten in the cab and gone home to her husband. Simple little compliments can lead to kisses that morph into sexual compromise that heads straight to divorce court and poverty.
6. Think of the children
If there are kids involved, sometimes it helps to imagine their little faces, and having to admit that Mommy did something bad. A simple glance down the wrong road at horrid consequences is enough to make us think twice.
7. You could ruin lives
Seriously, how many Dateline NBC episodes show murderous situations that arise, born out of an affair gone wrong? The heat of improper passion can bring out the worst emotions in folks—so it's best to avoid them. Besides, there is a big wrong double standard that exists where it seems women are expected to forgive their husband's wandering eye more than men are expected to forgive their wives' indiscretions.
Despite all that, avoiding adulterous affairs is simply the wise—and right—thing to do.