Avoid Getting Trumped Or Burned By Election Induced Emotional Stress

Emotions are running higher than ever with this year’s U.S. elections. People can alternate between anger and depression in a matter of seconds. I have no interest in addressing your political views but I can offer you a way to reduce the stress these issues may be causing you.

My premise is that sometimes when we react very strongly to a moral or character flaw or even a lapse of judgment in another person; it may be because we also see that tendency, at some level, in ourselves. It may be something we’ve struggled with and have some emotion attached to our own inability to change. Extrapolate the principle, but don’t get bogged down in the examples I’m using because, obviously, I don’t know these candidates personally and am just citing broad examples to make my point.

Let’s start with Trump because in Chicago recently and everywhere else emotions run high when he is in the room. If you coolly assess the concerns in his rhetoric and actions, then I’m not really talking to you. But if he makes you want to pull your hair out or throw something at the screen, then this paradigm might actually help you reduce the stress you feel when you hear him. This is for the person who reacts body, mind and soul every time the man opens his mouth.

The principle is that you can use this action as a signal to examine issues you want to deal with in yourself, and when you do, that other person stops triggering so much stress for you. You can still not approve of them, and certainly not vote for them, but in the spirit of changing what you can change and letting go of stressing over what you can’t control; you will not be tied in knots until election day and after.

Here’s a few possible examples and again I stress “possible" as this is more about us than them:

Trump may trigger feelings about our own need to be liked,

Hilary might trigger feelings about any tendency in us to bend the rules

Bernie may reveal feelings of resentment toward those  that we perceive as taking advantage of us by asking for what they didn’t work for

Cruz might bring out memories of times we cheated to win or didn’t live up to our own words

Rubio may remind us of times we compromised principles to get something we really wanted

Rabid supporters of any candidate may disturb us because they remind us of our own dogmatism and blind beliefs in other areas of our lives

So we just ask, why does this person bug me so much? What flaw of theirs might I also have in some degree? Self-help via tuning into our strong reactions can free us up to be less frustrated and clearer on any actions we want to take. Of course, this strategy can be used in family relations as well and may even be more telling. Is it possible that the trait or action that most bothers you in your partner or mother or friend might bother you because at some level the same is true of you?

The more we are aware of our own flaws, the less power we give others to stress us with theirs. We may intelligently choose to not vote for them but not add to our daily stress load by feeling angry or despondent. In our homes we may soften to a loved one’s shortcomings and be a bit more aware of our own. Don’t get riled, get serene by focusing on changing what you can change, which generally is not someone else.