Are you a man who can take directions from a woman? This sex tip is all about direction, and despite my widespread reputation for being directionally challenged, you can trust me on this one. I am going to guide you through an erotic touch experience with your lover, and this might just be the one that really lights her fire! Let's begin with you...
Self-preparation: Be clean, nourished and hydrated. Clip nails and hangnails, and use hand lotion. She will notice. Don your silky boxers, sarong or use that birthday suit. Your self-preparation shows honor and is the first step into your role as a respectful giver.
Space setting: Create a "love nest" on the floor. Comfort is essential, so place a thin mat or a few layers of bedding down and surround your nest with pillows. Now adorn this space for your lover with flowers, music, candles, incense, her favorite fluffy blanket, snack or drink. Have some massage oil ready (heated is best) and also some genital lube. The act of building this love nest is a ritual—you are creating a space for magic to happen and adopting a "pleasure the Goddess" attitude.
The dance of energies: Here’s an important concept: Touch, massage, and sex are about energy—connecting energetically with your lover and creating/allowing an energy flow. The more you embrace that notion, the more you will be able to employ techniques to create the sexual experience you desire. (And, to last longer!)
Energy can be very subtle, like a whisper or a glance. Other times it is huge and explosive, like an orgasm. But it is always sensitive and knowing. It knows what is happening in your heart, and if there is a disconnect between heart and hands, the energy will shrink and retreat. A loving, open heart allows the energy to move freely, bundling you both in that sweet "being in the flow" bliss.
Honoring the energy
Energy prefers to advance slowly (and retreat gradually), so consider using this initial connection:
1) Lay side-by-side with your lover with your arm resting on her body.
2) Eye-gaze with her allowing your vision to get lazy and hazy—a sign of merging energies.
3) Synchronize your breathing with hers.
4) After a few minutes of silence, softly thank her for joining you, and let her know that tonight is all about her pleasure—she can only receive.
5) Gently nudge her to lying on her back as you sit by her side.
Touch her this way (upper body)
Don't rush. You are honoring the Goddess, your energy bodies are connecting, and your new pattern of pleasuring has added anticipation to the mix. A super aphrodisiac!
To really make this advice work, you need to follow these action steps to complete today's challenge.
Right now, I want you to:
Are you ready to "do it differently"? To join your lover in a new dance of erotic energies? YES!? Decide how you will offer the invitation to your lover. A sexy note on her pillow? A loving card attached to a bouquet of her favorite flowers? Or, you could add mystery by simply requesting her presence on [date/time] and letting her know that "the event will be clothing optional."
Within 7 days I want you to:
Erotic energy thrives on variety, so get prepared with a new massage lotion or genital lube, sensual toys such as a dry body brush, a piece of fur, or a feather duster. Just before your pleasuring time, re-read my suggestions and let them rest gently in the back of your mind. Prepare yourself, and then your "love nest," and enjoy a new erotic experience.
By the end of the challenge I want you to:
Show appreciation to your lover for joining you in this new erotic experience, and ask for her thoughts or suggestions for adding even more creativity. Acknowledge the "gifts" that have appeared—do you feel a greater heart connection? Playfulness? An openness to variety and exploration? And… let her know that sometime you'd love to be the receiver.