Money and sex issues aren't the only relationship bombs. Your man has secrets he won't tell you.
Relationships can come unglued for so many reasons -- lack of satisfying sex, boredom, money conflicts, infidelity, etc.
However, in working with thousands of singles and couples from around the globe, I have discovered that men have deep needs that if not met, will lead them to intentionally or unintentionally sabotage your relationship.
These 'secret' relationship wreckers are rarely spoken of because they are shame-inducing and often, hidden to the man himself.
Secret #1: You are more successful than he is.
Many male-dominated industries have collapsed or have been sent abroad -- construction and manufacturing are among the top leaders. Women are also opening businesses in droves and making more money than ever before. With women being able to compete with men on nearly every level, the man's identity is no longer certain as bread winner and protector. Who is he now that she is powerful, successful and has her own money?
Women are merely reclaiming the rights and abilities that have been theirs all along. But your man - the man you love and adore - he doesn't know how to be with you if you don't appear to need him.
He may withdraw from you or make cutting remarks. When you ask for support, he may lie and say he's busy just to get back at you. You may notice his rage comes out inappropriately and unexpectedly.
To counter this, I recommend gently reminding him, "Honey, I am going to fulfill my dreams with or without you, so you might want to consider getting on board with me and spend some time figuring out what makes YOU happy."
Secret #2: You suck at receiving.
He tries to get you the perfect flowers for Valentine's Day and you criticize him for not getting you a card. He buys you lingerie and you curl up your lip and roll your eyes, mumbling that it's not in your color. He tells you look beautiful and you carry on about the zit on your nose or your cellulite. You get the idea.
He's really trying, in his own way, to show you that he loves you. The only appropriate response is a big smile and a soft, "Thank you, love."
Most women I meet are incredibly receiving-challenged. In the male-dominated world, they've learned to be very good givers: great friends, confidantes, caretakers, moms, doers. But women are BUIILT to receive, emotionally and biologically.
In receiving your man, a smile and very little speaking is key. Can you surrender to his love and let him lead you?
In a nutshell, I recommend you NEVER do these things to your man unless someone's life is at stake:
* Give directions * Give advice * Try to fix his problems without him knowing * Criticize him verbally
Men THRIVE in an atmosphere of appreciation. You don't have to give him gifts (except on the obvious occasions) or DO for him. Your appreciation, matched with abundant physical affection can turn most relationships around. Every time you go to change, complain to or nag your man, find a way to compliment him that is authentic. Try it. It is magic.
Secret #3: He doesn't know his Life Purpose!
A man without a clear vision is a lost man. In my work, I use the tool of hand analysis to help people find their specific life purpose. Your life purpose is your reason for being - your reason for being on this planet. Every single human being has a purpose and it is easily identifiable from your fingerprints - formed in utero between 14 and 16 weeks and unalterable for your life time.
When a man doesn't know his purpose, he may try to hitch his caboose to your train and find fulfillment 'helping' you. However, this will inevitably backfire, leading to secret problem #1 - you are more successful than he is.
When a man doesn't know his purpose, he becomes despondent, lazy or addicted. He attempts to wash away his sorrow in work, porn, drink or hanging out with the boys to all hours.
When a man doesn't know his purpose, he is INCAPABLE of being there for you and the relationship.
My recommendation? Send him off to the woods for a weekend or some kind of encounter group - or even a 6-month sojourn - and tell him, "I love you. If we are to stay together, you MUST find your purpose or I'm out of here. I cannot carry your sorrow and confusion on my back."
And if you really really want a simple solution? Have him sign up to have his hands read and discover his life purpose. His life - and yours - will never be the same. In a good way!
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