The Truth About The List...
By Orna And Matthew Walters. Posted on .
Okay, we know you’ve heard it many times from all kinds of sources from your best friend, to Cosmo, to every dating coach out there: Make a List of What You Want.
It's true – creating a list is a crucial step in making the relationship of your dreams a reality, however, we are betting that many of you have made the list, and yet still do not have your ideal mate. Why doesn't this miracle list work? Today, we’re going to clear up what you really need to focus on when creating the LIST so you can finally take that next step.
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What to Focus On
Making a list of external qualities can be helpful so that you know what you want, however, as far as creating what you want, this will not assist you. If you are stuck on the tall, dark-haired guy on your list you might miss a great guy standing right in front of you. Focusing on external qualities is focusing on the “how.”
When we focus on the “how,” we get stuck in the details. Acknowledging that you want a man over six feet tall doesn’t do much to help you in the creation of a true soul partnership. Being honest about the KIND OF MAN you desire, as in, he appreciates honesty, has a spiritual practice, enjoys a healthy lifestyle – now you are gaining ground on WHO he is at his core.
The way to get to who he is at his core is to focus on Values and Core Character Traits and Behavior. Does he treat you with respect? Is he good with money? (Just because a man has money doesn’t mean he’s good at managing it.) How does he feel about family? These are great questions to ask yourself to generate this list.
Never Too Picky
Go all out with your List. Put down EVERYTHING that you can imagine you desire. Yes, every thing! Your list cannot be too long, and there is no such thing as being too picky. Now if your list ends up with over 100 items, please go back to step one and delete anything that is an external quality (yes, that includes how much money he makes).
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We know that you can have all that you desire. It is when we ask for less than what we really want that we find ourselves tempted by what we call the “Should Relationship.” Should relationships are when you are with someone because HE loves you so much, regardless of how you feel about him. You may find yourself asking, “When am I going to find a man who loves me like he does?” Love is not limited in this way. There is not a limit to the number of men available to you. The only limits are the ones you create.
Bringing in Your Beloved
Here’s the part that will set your creation into motion. With your complete List in front of you, sit down, focus, clear your mind, connect to Source (whatever that is for you), and go down your list. Look at each item one at a time and ask yourself, “On a scale of 1-10 how much do I hold/have this quality/value?” (Ten means you embody it completely.) Ask for guidance to be completely honest with yourself. The question is
asked and answered from your heart, not your head.
