Love and Value Yourself - FIRST!


Love and Value Yourself - FIRST!

We are strong believers that your ability to attract love in your life is tied to your ability to love and value yourself. These practices are at the root of creating intentional love. When you embrace the idea that your experience in the outer world is nothing more than a reflection of your inner world, then it seems obvious that in order to attract and receive the love you desire you need to create that relationship with yourself first.

I can hear you thinking how great that sounds however, what does that look like in practice?


What actions can I take that teach me to love and value myself?

The place to start is to begin to examine your relationship with yourself and ask yourself some key questions:

1. Do I feel that others are always draining my energy?

2. Do I have a list of actions or activities that I do regularly to replenish myself?

3. Do I feel any resentment towards important people at home or at work?

4. Do I set and enforce my personal boundaries?

5. Do I know what my ideal day would look like?

6. Do I speak to myself in a harsh or critical tone?

7. Do I dwell on past mistakes?

8. Do I focus on what I haven’t yet accomplished?

9. Am I holding onto unresolved issues from the past?

10. Is there anything that I am unwilling to change or let go of in order to get what I want?

11. Do I take time for myself away from friends and family?

12. Do I focus on the present and reward myself for how far I’ve come on my journey?

If you answered yes to #’s 1, 3, 6, 7, 8, 9, or 10 then that is a great place to start making changes. Pick one of these and add it to your New Year’s Resolution list. In order to avoid becoming overwhelmed, work only on one at a time and be compassionate towards yourself. There is no time limit for how long it should take to make these changes, its all a process.

If you answered yes to #’s 2, 4, 5, 11, or 12 then you already have some great practices in place. If you answered no, then these are great actions to add into your daily life. Once again it is best to take them one at a time.

So today’s tip is to spend time with this list, notice where you are not honoring your needs or hanging onto the past. Notice which practices you would like to develop and pick one to focus on for the next 30-60 days. Then move on to another and focus on it for 30-60 days, and so on. . .

Please let us know how you’re doing. We’ve set up a forum topic so that you can support one another and keep track of your progress. Click here to post on the forum:

Love and Abundance,

Orna and Matthew

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Orna And Matthew Walters

Dating Coach

Creating Love On Purpose…not just by accident!

We are Relationship Coaches for Singles who desire LOVE!

Everything in life worth having takes effort. When it comes to matters of the heart we all seem to buy into the idea that it will happen by magic. The truth is that your internal guidance system will continue to create the same dysfunctional relationships over and over again . . . until we make the effort to change our story!

You don't have to settle for just enough! You can have it all! And we are here to show you how.

Watch our video: "Why Smart Women Stay Single"

and receive Love Notes Weekly, the Creating Love On Purpose Newsletter

- voted one of the 10 Best Love Blogs by Dating Advice dot com. 


“Focus On Love – Change Your Life!”

Orna and Matthew Walters, C.Ht.


Location: Santa Monica, CA
Credentials: CHT, Other
Other Articles/News by Orna and Matthew Walters:

Don't Trip Over Love, Plan For It


If you are single and looking for love, it is likely that you have a belief that is blocking you from finding that great relationship you desire. We call this belief, "The Myth of Accidental Love." The Myth of Accidental Love is something that we are introduced to at a very young age (usually in a Disney movie), and it shows up in all parts of our ... Read more

Do Pheromones Really Cause Us To Fall In Love (Lust?)


The science of attraction is constantly proposing theories about why we find each other attractive. Scientists have studied whether symmetry or asymmetry is more attractive (both in bodies and faces), the shapes of our bodies and faces and how that affects attraction, and especially the effect of how we smell. Pheromones, or the chemical secretions we emit ... Read more

What About Conscious Coupling?


There’s a ton of buzz happening about our friend and colleague, Katherine Woodward Thomas’ “Conscious Uncoupling” thanks to Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin announcing their split in this way. Always happy to hear that people are doing things consciously, mind-fully and purposefully for the highest and best intentions of all ... Read more

See More

My Videos
Most Popular