I repeat: Most love advice out there is absolute garbage.
If I read or overhear a "one size fits all" prescription when it comes to love or dating one more time, I swear I am going to throw my laptop across the room. Okay, not really. (A) This MacBook was not cheap and (B) Dramatic outbursts are not my thing. But playing dramatic definitely is. Busted! But going back to the issue at hand. Is there any truth to what magazines or blogs or books might be preaching regarding relationships? Sure!
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There is usually a grain of truth in everything. Even crazy, out of this world, science fiction or fantasy stories have some percentage of possibility to them. The situations or scenarios described in relationship scenarios have probably happened at some point for some people. In my experience though, when it’s your long haul person, all of that stuff goes out the window. Think about it — When you are crazy smitten with someone and they are just as equally gaga about you, playing by the ‘rules’ is the last thing on either of your minds. Where something you did may have been ‘too much’ with other people, this person finds it adorable.
Why do you think the most common thing you hear with people that find 'the one' is 'I can finally just be myself!' I say this not to bash everyone in the love and relationship arena. Some actually do mean well. Besides, bashing is not my thing either. I say all this to emphasize the unpredictability, uniqueness and excitement that is LOVE. Because the same can be said for LIFE! You cannot predict what is going to happen in any given situation and you definitely cannot foretell who you are going to fall in love with!
I am a fan of case-by-case scenarios and making up your own rules. Who wants someone that is 'playing a game' or 'acting XYZ' anyway?! I know I sure as hell don’t! I want someone that is being themselves, being honest, being respectful, being imaginative, being spontaneous. You get the drift. We spend so much time and energy trying to figure out what our prospective partners are thinking or feeling. It's insane! Here is a novel concept … just ask them directly. Where we should be focusing our time and energy, in my humble (non-opinionated) opinion of course, is figuring out what WE are thinking and feeling.
What do YOU want? What makes YOU happy? Who are YOU at your core? I even wrote an article about being yourself for this very reason! If I had to give you any piece of advice, it would be the following:
- Quit the cookie-cutter stuff.
- Quit it with the settling and shape shifting.
- Blaze your own trail.
- Dream up your own version of happily ever after...and live it!
- You are an amazing and beautiful being. Act like it.
- You deserve rad, amazing love. Your way. Believe it.
- You are unique and unconventional and get to create the exact life you want!
So do it. Be the best you can be and the love will find you.
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