Is It Ever Safe To Complain In A Relationship?


Is It Ever Safe To Complain In A Relationship?
Where do you draw the line between open honesty and just being a nag?

Perhaps you have experienced this scenario with your significant other:

"What do you think of dinner, honey?" you ask happily, mentally patting yourself on the back for preparing a gourmet dinner that turned out just like the recipe you saw on Pinterest.


He (on the other hand) doesn't seem all that impressed. "It's okay," he mumbles. "The sauce on the meat tastes a little something. What did you do to the steak? I'm not a big fan of vegetables without cheese to cover them up. I need the steak sauce ... can you scrap this stuff off the meat? Why do we have these little things on the napkins?"

You're crushed for not receiving validation for the time and effort it took to put together a romantic dinner, sensing a serious pouting attack surfacing. "Can't you just try it?" you whine immediately. "I spent two hours fixing this feast just for you."

He sniffs at the meal with a twisted expression on his face. "Hey, isn't there some of that meatloaf from last night left over?" he says. "I'll eat that instead."

You throw your hands up in the air, moaning exasperatedly, "I can never do anything right!" (You think to yourself that the silent treatment and slamming of cabinets and doors should show him how hurt and angry you are.)

Meanwhile, he's left at the dinner table — clueless. "Are you mad or something?"

Granted, your guy may not be this unobservant, however, if you've been in a committed relationship for any given amount of time, you know similar situations arise. It is important to remember that expressing feelings about something that makes your unhappy is not a reflection of your value in the relationship nor is it a barometer for his love for you. The best couples cultivate an atmosphere of sharing both positive and negative feelings, which many times is easier said than done. Keep reading...

More couples advice from YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Nancy Pina

Relationship Coach

Nancy Pina, Relationship Coach

Contact: 832-566-0800

Recent books: What to Look for in a Man, Attract the Lasting Love of your Life


Location: Houston, TX
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Dating/Being Single Support, Forgiveness, Spiritual
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