I have talked to many women as a relationship coach who have multiple experiences in committing themselves to the wrong type of relationship that never led to their goals. You may have had brushes with various Mr. Wrongs, but do you know the signs you’ve met Mr. Right? As a former matchmaker, I understand the importance of having a clear mental image of the qualities and characteristics of a good man who will be marriage material. It’s not enough to have an idea of what you believe will be the “right one” thinking you will somehow know when you meet this right guy. You need to have a solid picture so you can attract the right relationship leading to a loving, fulfilling and lasting marriage.
As a recent study revealed, that men and women have different criteria regarding what makes a person marriage material. As a relationship coach, apparently the vast majority of the individuals surveyed did not have a clear image of what components are necessary for a committed, lasting, fulfilling marriage. According to this London survey, trust was the top requirement from women, while the men ranked physical compatibility as the most important consideration. Women were looking for material security from their men and sited career driven as a positive trait. The men overall desired nurturance from their ideal spouses and felt someone who would cater to their needs would be ideal.
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If you truly want to attract a relationship leading to marriage that is fulfilling, lasting and brings contentment into both your lives, here are 10 top signs that you are on the path to that goal:
You’ve worked through your old relationship pattern.
It is common to develop a relationship pattern that does not lead to the fulfillment of your goals in love. Once you have taken the time necessary to figure out the source of why you attract particular men, you will be on the way to changing the type of person you are normally attracted to in relationships. Forming an emotionally healthy view of commitment leads to men you may have disregarded in the past, but now see their potential as viable choices.
He communicates his feelings clearly.
He does not make you guess why he’s having a bad day and does not allow you to wonder if it was something you did or did not do. He does not take out his frustration at someone else out on you. Likewise, you do not take everything he says or does not say so personally that you end up in a funk if he does not always respond perfectly in every situation.
He is trustworthy.
He does not place himself in situations which could lead you to question his faithfulness. He is honorable, responsible, timely and keeps his word. If he says he will pick you up at 7 p.m. for your date, he is there.
He is a man of faith.
He knows that life has challenges that require faith to give one the courage and strength to persevere. He does not place his identity on what he does for a living. He leads by example and strives to be a positive role model at work, with you and in all his relationships.
He is a good friend.
He knows the importance of spending quality time together to nurture relationships. You share not only love, but a sincere desire to be with each other. He is dependable and reliable as your friend. He has good common sense about who to let in his inner circle and who to consider as an acquaintance. He is friendly and helpful, freely offering an encouraging word and his smile.
He can keep a confidence.
He does not run out and tell everyone your innermost secrets, desires and fears. He knows when to listen to you when you want to just vent. The right man can give you his advice without it sounding like he’s trying to make the decision for you.
His priorities are in order.
He understands there is more to life than work, but is not a slacker. He values his employment but knows where to draw the line when it is couple time. You never have to guess your top placement in his life and his commitment to your relationship.
You have the same relationship goals.
You have mutually agreed on big (and not so challenging) issues such as long term commitment, children, faith, career goals, family holidays, vacation spots and where to live. He is willing to make decisions with you and not for you.
Love is not conditional.
You do not have the sense that his love for you is performance based. You want to make each other happy because it is a strong desire of your heart, but because you have a list of things that must be done to win him over day after day.
He is not afraid of commitment.
The right man does not have the let’s-live-together-and-see-what-happens mentality when it comes to your relationship. He is clear about his intention to marry you.
The clients I coach who have a clear idea of the qualities and characteristics they find attracting in a future spouse are those who reach their relationship goals quickly. I help individuals reach their dreams for love and can give you the necessary advice and tools to bring you to relationship readiness.
Nancy Pina is a highly recognized author, relationship coach and speaker. She is dedicated to helping individuals attract emotionally healthy relationships through her practical Christian-based advice. Visit her website for coaching options and recent books. Subscribe to her free report, Is He The Right One or schedule a free coaching session with Nancy.
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