You can break the cycle of not discussing money with your spouse and create a shared vision.
A recent article in HNGN reports that financial arguments in the early stages are so intense that they can lead to divorce. It did not matter the level of the couple’s finances; the verbal blows can be so deep and hurtful that recovery can sometimes be too difficult.
How can a couple set a positive precedent financially, not only meeting the everyday needs that arise, but also mutually reach long term goals?
In his thought provoking book, Family Wealth, James Hughes explains that successful families understand that a family’s assets are not only monetary, but also include the contribution each family member makes to the whole. If family members are not prosperous spiritually, physically and emotionally, the financial side of the equation will not be long lasting.
Our society highlights the need for advanced education to achieve career success but leaves out the other key components of how to be a good manager of those earnings. As a Christian relationship coach, I believe all couples can start wherever they are in their marriage by placing the following ideas into practice and see their lives shift and flourish.
Compose A Mission Statement. Where do you want to go in life individually and as a couple? It is not uncommon for couples to assume certain mindsets, especially financially. It is one of those topics we seem to have a collective understanding that money is somehow taboo to discuss with our loved ones. Many couples have different spending and savings habits, financial goals and attitudes about money. A mission statement will provide a shared vision for the future but also how you and your spouse will manage your lifestyle to achieve those results. Preparation and vision is a key element to attaining those shared goals.
Set A Spiritual Foundation. Without a solid foundation spiritually, a couple will not understand how to be a good steward of their earnings. Knowing and applying biblical principles to giving, saving and spending will provide a sense of unity as a couple. If faith is not present in your marriage, the probable results will lead to a decline in other areas.
Resolve Emotional Issues. Pretending an addiction is not happening, rationalizing negative behavior and having silent understandings that particular topics (such as money management) are areas to avoid will deplete finances. Making wise financial decisions requires transparency and openness.
Live Healthy. Smoking, excessive drinking, poor eating habits and lack of exercise will also drain financial resources. Everything we do individually and as a couple has consequences. The key is to make positive life choices so that financial resources can be used more profitably, leading to the overall vision in the shared mission statement.
Get Knowledge. Intellectual information is powerful. Combining knowledge with wisdom will allow a couple to expand their influence to other family members and their community. Education and knowledge are other pieces of the whole which leads to a more fulfilling, content and connected marriage. Each spouse should be committed to providing the support necessary to each other to perfect individual talents and skills. With a strong spiritual foundation, those attributes can be used to their fullest potential; not just in a small self-serving manner. Keep Reading...
More marriage advice from YourTango: