You can achieve relationship success by changing your outlook and attitude toward love.
If you are single and without a hot date for New Year’s Eve, congratulations! You have the amazing opportunity to make this holiday a positive celebration of your love life resolutions for the upcoming year. As a relationship coach, I advise singles to have a plan of action and a vision of what that future details. Without knowing your personal definition of successful love, the result will be a sense of reaching for something but not attaining it. Starting now, you can change that experience with this practical and doable list of steps you can easily incorporate as you ring in 2013.
Here are the steps I suggest to launch the beginning of your shift from Single and available to In a committed relationship:
Step One: See The Love Goal.
Like many people, you can probably list in detail your accomplishments and vision for your career path. However, when it comes to describing the type of person you want to date, it's easy to draw a blank or just a vague outline. It is not unromantic to know what you want in love. It is important to resolve to shake off the popular (but mistaken) belief that you will somehow “know” the right one when you meet that person. The right one will not get away when you have a clear vision of the type of love you desire. The key is to avoid dating people aimlessly because you worry about a lack of available options or become bored with the same routine. If you can’t imagine being in the right relationship, then you will not be able to attract what you want in love.
Step Two: Wave Your Available Sign.
Use every daily opportunity to make eye contact with others and engage in small talk. Be the initiator and give out compliments to people you don’t know. Why do I recommend this step? By forming this habit, you will gain an added level of conversational self-confidence so when you do meet people for potential love, you won’t freeze up. The added bonus? You will develop an encouraging spirit and be the person people gravitate toward because of your kind, uplifting words.
Step Three: Break Predictability.
Weekly regimen: Go to work. Go to the gym. Go home. Repeat. Starting 2013 without changing your routine will not lead to celebrating next New Year Eve’s with the love of your life. As much as you love your established routine, it is vital to make adjustments. This does not mean you need to do a radical lifestyle change, but simply try different times for non-work activities. The idea is to place yourself in the path of new people - and what easier way than to change up when you go to the gym, out to dinner or running normal errands? Vow to try at least one new thing each month, whether that be a new restaurant, outdoor activity or even traveling to a new destination.
Step Four: Be realistic.
Not every date is going to lead to commitment and there is absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying the process of each stage.The idea is to get to know each other and see if you are compatible. Spending time together will answer key questions such as:
- Is this a person of integrity?
- Do we share primary life and relationship goals?
- Are we really compatible and do we share the basic priorities in life?
It is vital to look beyond the physical attraction and figure out how you two can work together as a potential couple.
Step Five: Think and Speak Love Success. When you talk to your friends about your potential for love, is it filled with positive affirmations or laced with sarcasm? Ask yourself, “Will this thought get me where I want to go in love?” If you think you will attract people who are losers, disrespectful of your time, unreliable and untrustworthy ... then your thoughts and words will take you in that very direction. Every thought you embrace and comments you make regarding love must agree with your ultimate goal.
New beginnings need fresh approaches to gain the desired result of meeting the right person. Making small, but significant changes in your outlook and attitude toward love will ultimately lead to the relationship goal you desire.
Nancy Pina is a highly recognized author, relationship coach and speaker. She is dedicated to helping individuals attract emotionally healthy relationships through her practical, Christian-based advice. Visit here for articles, exercises, coaching options and recent books.