3 Ways Money Can Break Up Your Marriage

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3 Ways Money Can Break Up Your Marriage
First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes ... money woes?

It's certainly not a cliche: How to spend money is the number one argument married couples fight about and, if left unresolved, can lead to divorce. According to a recent article, the upside of marriage is the health benefits of being together; the downside is the stress of unresolved financial goals can negate that benefit. Most people marry someone who has a different view regarding spending. These viewpoints should not be seen as a negative and something to change: It is the coming together as a couple that creates a healthy balance in setting financial goals. A conservative's restraint will make sure the family has the funds needed to take that fun vacation the more free spending person visualizes. Both are essential: Two conservatives can lean toward selfishness and two unrestrained spenders can lean toward irresponsibility.

The key is to acknowledge the reasons why you have particular beliefs about money individually and how, as a couple, you can combine each other's strengths and weaknesses to enjoy a wealthy life together. Here are three ways money will break up your marriage if you are not proactive:

 

1. You avoid talking about money. Unfortunately, most couples would rather not talk about it at all. You find ways to avoid mentioning the topic of money, knowing it will lead to a blowout. But this approach only gives ammunition to the time bomb. For instance, you're out to eat with friends and your sweetie insists on paying the tab ... again. He shows his affection for others through spending and he relishes in the good vibes he receives from that showing generosity. You, on the other hand, are mentally calculating how you can make up the difference in cash flow. It is a source of stress within your relationship. You dare not talk about it because you know that conversation always turns into a huge fight and nothing gets accomplished. However, you feel resentment building. Release it by talking it out!

2. There's a lack of mutual financial priorities. Your personal financial goal is to pay down all of your combined debt, but you face an uphill battle because your significant other spends the extra cash (every last dime of it). It's not that his view of money is wrong and yours is correct; it's just that there's a lack of communicating to each other where to delegate funds. Many people believe budgeting is negative and constraining, but planning when to spend (or save) your cash will go is a valuable tool. Together, you can agree on what is important and how those goals will be achieved. Without planning and focusing on the priorities, it's very easy to have prosperity become allusive. Keep reading...

More how to save your marriage advice from YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Nancy Pina

Relationship Coach

Nancy Pina, Relationship Coach

Contact: 832-566-0800

Recent books: What to Look for in a Man, Attract the Lasting Love of your Life

 

Location: Houston, TX
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Dating/Being Single Support, Forgiveness, Spiritual
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