Who are you? Are you letting others or a lover define you?

Heartbreak, Self

Self discovery is a mixed blessing. Looking at how we absorb other's opinions is enlightening.

It is a quesiton of self respect and self love. For this Friday, I present to you the questions. You can provide the answers. How many times have you thought or felt yourself free and positive only to have it last as long as somebody doesn't come along and put you down? And this can happen in such subtle ways. Sometimes we don't realize how much of ourselves has been given up to other's opinions. Are you letting other's define you?  

Sometimes we make ourselves small so others can look large. This is self-deprecation. But also, sometimes words that other's speak secretly pierce our soul and are no less than abuse. It is mental or verbal abuse, but abuse nonetheless. Words can change us. So words are sacred. Is someone using words to reduce your roar to a whimper? Is this what they need to feel strong?

I wrote the poem below in reflection of my own life.  It is called "It is I".

It is I. I'm here. I'm smart, I'm honest, I'm beautiful and I'm funny. I love to dance. I have it all. Oh! I'm sorry. I didn't know I was mistaken?  What was that you said? I'm chubby? Well, thank you for telling me. I'll make a note of it.

It is I. I'm here. I'm smart, I'm funny, and I love to dance. I have it all. Excuse me! I didn't mean to intrude. Would you repeat that? Did I catch it correctly? Did you just call me stiff? Oh. I understand now. You said I can't move. I'm awkward? Well thank you for telling me that. I'll make a note of it.

It is I. I'm here. I'm smart, I'm honest, I'm funny. I have it all. Yes, ma'am that is what I said. Well, pardon me now ma'am. I didn't mean to upset you. Yes, the world can be cruel. I understand now that life is not a joke. Well, thank you for telling me.  I'll make a note of it.

It is I. I'm here. I'm smart, I'm honest. I have it all. Well, thank you for your compliments sir. I understand your troubles. Yes, I can lie for you if you need me to. Of course it is only for this time. I really am honest. I understand now sir. We can't be honest all the time. Nobody likes a sucker. Well, thank you for telling me. I'll make a note of it.

It is I. I'm here. I'm smart. I have it all. Why are you interested in me? I'm not beautiful or funny. Oh! I see. My books come to life in your hands. I am your Psyche and you are my Eros. Dear beautiful one, I know you are the greatest. Did I say I was smart? You are right. I'm only an acorn, to your Maple tree. Oh beautiful one, I am grateful that you see beyond my stupidity.

It is I. I'm here. I have nothing. I am nothing. I walk in my invisible body, that can not move, that is not funny, that can not think, and can only lie.  The darkness scares me. There is nothing. I must move on.

It rains on me. It pours on me. I am drenched. I look up to Him. The light shines through the clouds. In shame I bow my head.

The bright light reflects off the puddles around my feet. With my head bowed low, I look in the puddle. A huge sun shines a halo around my reflection.  It is I!

I'm back. The scent of wet earth purifies my soul. I laugh at my bare feet, I acknowledge my past, I dance in the sprinkling rain and enjoy my bouncing bosoms. I am so very blessed with Spirit.

It is I. I'm here. I'm smart, I'm honest, I'm beautiful and I'm funny, and…I love to dance!

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