Want To Be A Surrogate? Here's What You Need To Know


The pros and cons of this major life choice.

Ask a woman who is struggling to conceive, and she will tell you that it is impossible to leave the house without seeing happy moms and cherub babies everywhere. The struggle to conceive a baby is very real and it leaves many couples searching for an alternative.

If you have a friend who is in this position, you may have considered helping her by becoming a surrogate mother. Before you make a decision like this, however, there is a lot you need to know.

A woman who enters into a surrogacy agreement with a couple is faced with the incredible challenge of carrying a baby for nine months, and then upon birth, handing that baby over to the adoptive mother. When women decide to become surrogate mothers, they often don't realize the overwhelming joy and celebration that follows the birth of a baby. And even worse, they don't fully understand the sense of loss that happens when they have to give that baby away.

There is no other kind of relationship that provides such an opportunity to share so deeply in the joy of another couple. Being a surrogate mother means sacrificing so much of yourself for the good of another couple. Surrogate mothers are forever linked to the family by a woven thread of connection. Becoming a surrogate mother is not an easy decision, nor one that should be entered into lightly. When asked, most women immediately focus on their desire to share in the joy and the creation of a family. They recall the moments of connection and the opportunity to truly give a gift that no other could give.

Seek out support groups and women who have been a surrogate mother or are currently involved in a surrogate relationship. Ask as many questions as you can and be open to the possibility of life changing forever, not only for the family you choose to partner with, but for your family as well.  

After having a baby, your body changes, things no longer remain in the same place.  With the stress and pressure of a new baby, many moms are too busy to worry about their body.  A surrogate mom has all the same issues to deal with when it comes to a post baby body, without the baby. She will experience feelings of loss coupled with the joy of helping a family become complete.

For many, it is the greatest gift they have given to anyone and the ripples of that choice resonate with a family forever.

More Juicy Content on YourTango: 

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Ms Natalie Blais

Family Coach

Natalie Blais

Parenting Strategist


Happy, Healthy, Peaceful Homes

Location: Calgary, AB, Canada
Credentials: BA
Specialties: Blended Family Issues, Empowering Women, Parenting
Other Articles/News by Ms Natalie Blais:

7 Explanations Parents Owe To NO ONE


Can we please just stop. Stop it. The not so silent war that goes on between parents has got to stop. We get enough judgement from the media, the government and the school system, parents need to ease up on each other. I get that we all want to "share" our opinion and have people agree with us, but the polarizing struggle with parenting is that no ... Read more

How To Encourage Resilience In Your Child


How resilient is your child?  If you had to rate them on a scale of 1-10 in resilience, what would you say? The answer is difficult to pin down, because resilience is different for every single person.  What knocks one child to the ground is vastly different to the next child.  Even with our own children, what brings one child to tears can be ... Read more

13 Surprising Things You Don't Know About Parenting


Every single girlfriend I have ever asked about parenting has confided in me how incredibly unprepared they were for the changes, emotions and physicality of being a parent. Let's face it; parenting is a mind-bending, brain-melting and heart-thumping roller coaster ride on a full stomach. It is the greatest adventure and the toughest battle you will ever ... Read more

See More

Latest Expert Videos
Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Most Popular