Society has sent women the message that having needs makes us "too much" for men. We have been told that wanting more time with a man or needing his affection makes us clingy and neurotic. This isn't true. Just because we crave a human connection doesn't mean that we are going to drown a man in all of our needs.
Men actually love providing. They love to hear our needs and supply them. It's just a question of how you ask and how he feels about you. If you are asking the wrong way, then he will feel annoyed. If he doesn't love you and you let him treat you badly, then he will be annoyed with your needs. Doormats don't have needs; women do.
There is nothing wrong with needing love, touches, tender words, more together time and a commitment if the time has come for one. You just have to be clear about what you needs are, and not reward him if he doesn't provide. What do I mean by not rewarding him? You shouldn't, for example, tell him you miss him and then not hear from him, only to start sending him loving texts when you panic two days later because he hasn't called. 5 Ways We Sabotage Our Relationships
Those texts are a reward for bad behavior. They send him the message, "Treat me poorly, I respond more lovingly when you do." A man doesn't want to be with a woman who comes closer with poor treatment. If he doesn't provide, you can't go to him for reassurance. It's so hard to ask for something and then not get it. It makes us feel the gap in the relationship even more, and our female instinct is to shorten that gap and cling to him. Top 10 Tips For Building Loving Relationships
Doing this will only give him the power, and make him think it's okay to treat you like a doormat. You have to let him come to you and make good on his mistake, even if it's really tough to "sit on your hands" and wait for him. Being clear and firm is important to him. A woman who feels needy to a man is a woman who is too afraid to directly speak her needs and politely and demurely demand accountablility.
A woman's fear stops her from communicating her needs so that he can provide them for her. This gives her a disharmonious vibe that is unattractive: she says "I'm fine," but her actions and body language say "I'm scared and hurt." It's confusing for a man. It makes her seem like she is constantly dissatisfied in the relationship, and that his actions are never enough for her to be truly happy.
More relationship advice from YourTango: