Which habits do you have?
YourTango asked over 100 YourTango Experts this question: Which of the following bad relationship habits is most likely to keep someone single?
Of the seven answer choices offered, there was no clear consensus. In fact, Dr. Jeneatte Raymond says, "There is no bad habit that keeps someone single. It is usually an idealized view of relationships that make it a fairy tale that never comes true. The unwillingness to give up the fairy tale is what keeps people single."
However, some experts disagree. Below are a few of the habits that may keep people single. Which one(s) do you have?
1. Invasiveness. Are you often told to keep your voice down or to give someone else a chance to speak? Do you find yourself trying to connect with people when they're clearly busy with other things? Are you too nosy, constantly inquiring about your man's whereabouts? If you have a hard time respecting a man's personal space, remember that no man wants to feel bulldozed by his partner's need to connect. Learn to self-soothe any anxiety you have related to intimacy and try to be more mindful.
2. Impulsiveness. Are you quick to fly off the handle? Do you act first, think later? Do you read into things or get paranoideasily? If you're quick to act out, you're sabotaging your chances at emotional security within a healthy relationship. Impulsiveness is scary for men, and nobody wants to walk on eggshells. Take deep breaths before responding to what feels like an insult or attack. Try to ignore the voice in your head that is hyper-suspicious of others' motives.
3. Impatience. Are you selfish with your time and unable to wait for others? Do you interrupt people when they're speaking? Do you feel aggressive and nervous when someone is running late to meet you? Do you have a hard time relaxing during physical intimacy? Impatience pushes men away. Everyone has a personal "speed." Don't get agitated if a man takes a long time to tell a story or if he walks more slowly than you. Find a way to honor his pace.
4. Compulsive helpfulness. Can you let your man open the refrigerator without feeling the need to rush over and offer to cook him something? Sometimes people can get too helpful and it becomes annoying. Let the man have his own experience of the fridge without smothering him with offers of service. It makes you seem needy and anxiously insecure. Real men can do for themselves, and actually prefer if you let them do things for you. Trust that he is fine without your help and that he will ask if he needs something.
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