Playing Hard To Get A Bad Idea?
By Ms. Kristina Marchant. Posted on .
Do you think that playing hard to get will create the kind of romantic tension with your man that will make him crazy about you?
Well, it probably will work– with most men and for a short while. The problem is that it won’t work in the long run with mature men who know that quality women are REAL people.
More from YourTango: Molding Gentlemen: What Attracts A Man To A Woman
When you act like you are busier than you are and more ‘chipper’ than usual, your truth will eventually come out. Then, when it does, you will be stuck with a man who liked you when you were playing games with him: an immature man who goes for women who aren’t real people with real issues. In order to keep him around, you will have to continue your charade.
What if you could play YOU all the time and never have to play a game with a man? What if you had an air about you that made you hopelessly attractive, even when telling men you have no pre-made plans for the entire week and that you've been feeling rather “down” lately?
Here are 3 words to keep in mind when you want to date a man without playing a card that goes against who you are and what you are all about:
1. OWNERSHIP
Once I dated a guy who was average-looking, had a really dirty home and didn’t make hardly any money. I was totally hooked on this man. Why? He made absolutely no apologies for who he was– he ‘owned’ every one of his flaws, effortlessly. His lack of insecurities made him funny, kind, attentive… He had the sexiest walk and was a fabulous lover. He could enter a strange room and make friends in a heartbeat. I actually dumped him because he had too many women on his speed dial.
I asked him how he had so much confidence and he laughed; “Why? Because I’m not a George Clooney? I’m me and I don’t make enough dough to get doctors to turn me into a Clooney, so I don’t worry about it. I love women and I love laughter and I’m not going to put that on the back burner because I don’t fill out a wife beater like a wife beater!”
When you can say to yourself, “Look, I’m not the perfect person. I’d rather stay home on a Friday night and I’m a bit sensitive and distrusting, which are areas of myself that I am working on, but I know that I’m also a loving, funny and caring person and any guy worth while would see that”, you will begin to OWN your faults and strengths.
Ownership of the areas of yourself you think are flawed is SELF-ACCEPTANCE and there is nothing more attractive than self-acceptance because it equals confidence!
More from YourTango: 5 Dating Tips For Empowered Women
2. HONESTY
When you own up to who you are, you begin to feel more comfortable speaking the truth about how someone or something makes you feel. I used to have such a hard time telling men that certain things they did were upsetting to me. I didn’t want to sound like a clingy girlfriend by getting pissed when a guy waited 3 days after a date to call, or when a man hadn’t said “I love you” after six months of dating.
