Playing Hard To Get A Bad Idea?


Playing Hard To Get A Bad Idea?
Playing hard to get is not a long-term solution to attracting quality men. Plus, it's too tiring!

Do you think that playing hard to get will create the kind of romantic tension with your man that will make him crazy about you?

Well, it probably will work– with most men and for a short while. The problem is that it won’t work in the long run with mature men who know that quality women are REAL people.

More from YourTango: How To Spot & Release Emotionally Unavailable Men

When you act like you are busier than you are and more ‘chipper’ than usual, your truth will eventually come out. Then, when it does, you will be stuck with a man who liked you when you were playing games with him: an immature man who goes for women who aren’t real people with real issues. In order to keep him around, you will have to continue your charade.

What if you could play YOU all the time and never have to play a game with a man? What if you had an air about you that made you hopelessly attractive, even when telling men you have no pre-made plans for the entire week and that you've been feeling rather “down” lately?

Here are 3 words to keep in mind when you want to date a man without playing a card that goes against who you are and what you are all about:


Once I dated a guy who was average-looking, had a really dirty home and didn’t make hardly any money. I was totally hooked on this man. Why? He made absolutely no apologies for who he was– he ‘owned’ every one of his flaws, effortlessly. His lack of insecurities made him funny, kind, attentive… He had the sexiest walk and was a fabulous lover. He could enter a strange room and make friends in a heartbeat. I actually dumped him because he had too many women on his speed dial.

I asked him how he had so much confidence and he laughed; “Why? Because I’m not a George Clooney? I’m me and I don’t make enough dough to get doctors to turn me into a Clooney, so I don’t worry about it. I love women and I love laughter and I’m not going to put that on the back burner because I don’t fill out a wife beater like a wife beater!”

When you can say to yourself, “Look, I’m not the perfect person. I’d rather stay home on a Friday night and I’m a bit sensitive and distrusting, which are areas of myself that I am working on, but I know that I’m also a loving, funny and caring person and any guy worth while would see that”, you will begin to OWN your faults and strengths.

Ownership of the areas of yourself you think are flawed is SELF-ACCEPTANCE and there is nothing more attractive than self-acceptance because it equals confidence!

More from YourTango: Angling For A Proposal? Here's How To Reel Him In


When you own up to who you are, you begin to feel more comfortable speaking the truth about how someone or something makes you feel. I used to have such a hard time telling men that certain things they did were upsetting to me. I didn’t want to sound like a clingy girlfriend by getting pissed when a guy waited 3 days after a date to call, or when a man hadn’t said “I love you” after six months of dating.

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Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Ms. Kristina Marchant


Is the man you love emotionally distant?  Maybe he runs hot then cold, or maybe he has slowly been distancing himself over time?  If so, you are have something in common with the women who read and follow my blog,  Come take a look and sign up there for my free mini-course: "Why Men Fall In & Out Of Love...  And What You Can Do"



Location: Miami, FL
Credentials: Other
Other Articles/News by Ms. Kristina Marchant:

How To Spot & Release Emotionally Unavailable Men


A relationship when both partners are "all-in" is tough enough. But when your man is emotionally unavailable, things are so much harder. You're committed to making things work, but he just won't open up. A tell-tale sign of an emotionally unavailable man is a lack of empathy; check for these signs before you get too committed. Although my ... Read more

Angling For A Proposal? Here's How To Reel Him In


You love him and you know he's the one; he says he loves you but admits he's not sure if you're his forever woman. Ouch. This not only hurts like hell — it's maddening. In your heart, you know that he loves you and would be miserable without you in his life, but your head tells you that you're acting like a fool, waiting around ... Read more

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Is the man you love acting like a ghost in your relationship?  Maybe he's even vocalized that he needs space? Perhaps he claims nothing's wrong, but he just doesn't return your texts and seems to be a whole lot busier than he was in the early stages of dating? Before you convince yourself that he has one foot out of the relationship, ask ... Read more

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