Too many women confuse feeling empowered with acting like a "ball-buster." Empowered dating is all about embracing and exposing your most uncomfortable, vulnerable and tender feelings. Empowered dating is about being brave enough to sit in the anxious, yucky, totally-out-of-your-comfort-zone feelings associated with letting down your guard.
So how do you do that? The key is to allow yourself to feel and share your "emotional nakedness" with men while having a sense of ownership of your emotions. Owning your feelings will let you feel more comfortable sharing your true self and will help him feel safer in acknowledging those feelings.
1. Be vulnerable, but never susceptible. The difference between being a soft, sensitive woman a man would want to snatch up and love forever and being a needy, over-emotional, dramatic woman who makes men run away, has everything to do with susceptibility. Are you susceptible to losing yourself in a man? Are you susceptible to feeling overwhlemed with neediness and other insecurities? Do you allow your feelings for a man to make you so weak for him that you compromise your self-respect and dignity just to connect with him?
2. Be grounded, but not guarded. If you feel you are susceptible to your more needy side, it's time you find your grounding. I call it making a conscious effort to "sit on your hands” and not reach out to men. Sharing and exposing your true feelings, needs, desires and dislikes. should be done from a grounded place—from a place of feeling like you aren't uncontained, needy and out of control emotionally.
A lot of women confuse being grounded with being guarded. Being grounded actually allows you to not be guarded, but instead to be vulnerable and open. Once you feel yourself shutting down or putting on a friendly, sexy, fun "act" for a man to hide your true self, you are losing your grounding and becoming guarded as a result. (Visit my blog ConnectWithHisHeart.com to learn more about how to feel grounded with men so that you'll never fear feeling needy and out of control emotionally again.) Keep reading...
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