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Sharing Your Negative Feelings & Bringing Him Closer

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Sharing Your Negative Feelings & Bringing Him Closer
Many women don't want to push men away with negative emotions but sharing can make him love you more

Do you find that you have a pattern of trying to hide your negative feelings from a man who isn't treating you the way you wish he would?

When we women love a man and feel that his feelings for us are not as strong as ours are, we feel A LOT of intense, scary feelings, most of which are negative. We are bitter, sad, scared, anxious and even angry.

More from YourTango: How To Spot & Release Emotionally Unavailable Men

We also feel like we have to hold these feelings inside. We feel we have to stuff them down, keep them under wraps, so that our man doesn’t get turned off by our draining emotions.

We don’t want to burden him with our pain, fearing it will all be too much for him and he will leave.

So we ignore our feelings and needs and busy ourselves by doing for him. We act like the most loving, able and hardworking girlfriends and wives that ever lived, all in an attempt to quiet our negative voices and make him love us again.

We cater to our men-- giving them things and slaving to do what we can to make THEIR lives better. We labor in the name of love, trying so hard to look like women that men would be crazy to lose!

We either:

*Pretend that nothing is wrong and force a smile when around him, only to cry when we are alone and safe to feel our true pain in private.

Or

*Start trying to manage and control our feelings by managing and controlling the relationship. In between breaking our backs to please him, we coolly and calmly express our dissatisfaction with his behavior and take every unassuming moment we can to tell him how ineffectual he is as a boyfriend or husband.

The problem is that these two alternatives to expressing our true feelings are off-putting to men.

A man doesn’t want you to “grin and bear it”. He doesn’t want you to lie to him and act like everything is fine.

See, it’s impossible to fully hide your feelings from him. Your discontent will rear it’s ugly face somehow. Your body needs to dispose of these feelings. They aren’t healthy to hold onto. You may start acting passive aggressive or manipulative with your actions just to release them. You may even start to get sick. This happened to me. I started getting sick all the time at the end of my marriage.

I also started taking out my frustration on other loved ones and coworkers. I would even yell at my dog.

And listen...

Your man also doesn’t want you to act like a calm and collected “cold fish” while constantly telling him how he's messing up in the relationship. This will make him feel worthless and unimportant to you.

He wants you to share your feelings with him. He wants you to stop pretending and start SHOWING HIM HOW MUCH power he has over your heart.

He wants you to TRUST him enough to give him the opportunity to make things better between the both of you.

He wants you to talk to him about YOUR feelings, not about HIS shortcomings.

More from YourTango: Angling For A Proposal? Here's How To Reel Him In

So how do you do this?

First, you must give yourself permission to feel EVERYTHING you feel and embrace the fact that you and your feelings are not perfect.

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

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Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Ms. Kristina Marchant

Author

Is the man you love emotionally distant?  Maybe he runs hot then cold, or maybe he has slowly been distancing himself over time?  If so, you are have something in common with the women who read and follow my blog, ConnectWithHisHeart.com  Come take a look and sign up there for my free mini-course: "Why Men Fall In & Out Of Love...  And What You Can Do"

 

 

Location: Miami, FL
Credentials: Other
Other Articles/News by Ms. Kristina Marchant:

How To Spot & Release Emotionally Unavailable Men

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You love him and you know he's the one; he says he loves you but admits he's not sure if you're his forever woman. Ouch. This not only hurts like hell — it's maddening. In your heart, you know that he loves you and would be miserable without you in his life, but your head tells you that you're acting like a fool, waiting around ... Read more

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Is the man you love acting like a ghost in your relationship?  Maybe he's even vocalized that he needs space? Perhaps he claims nothing's wrong, but he just doesn't return your texts and seems to be a whole lot busier than he was in the early stages of dating? Before you convince yourself that he has one foot out of the relationship, ask ... Read more

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