to the YourTango newsletter!

Continue to Site »»

ProConnect

3 Ways To Make Him Want You Like A Bad Santa This X-Mas

By . Posted on .

3 Ways To Make Him Want You Like A Bad Santa This X-Mas
'Tis the season to ignite his Yule log...

What is it about Christmas lights on a snow-laden cottage, holiday cheer on neighbors’ rosy-cheeked faces and gluttonous parties bombarded by doofuses in reindeer sweaters that make a person tingle with horny holiday spirit? During the next weeks that fall between Thanksgiving and News Year’s Day is the perfect time to get him randy on brandy & egg nog and seduce that man of yours so good, you’ll have him under your bush more times this Christmas Eve than Santa under the tree.

Here are a few ways to sexually corrupt your man this holiday season and make him your humble servant all year long:

More from YourTango: Molding Gentlemen: What Attracts A Man To A Woman

Make Him Want You:  Wear Red Lipstick, A Long (Faux) Fur Coat…  And That’s It!

There is nothing sexier than a fur coat on a beautiful woman.  (If you’re an animal activist like me, don't be timid about a faux fur coat; there are some pretty good ones out on the market these days).  Smear some fabulous red lipstick on your plumb pucker (MAC's Viva Glam I is great!).  Give your hair a bedhead look, and throw on a fur coat and a pair of thigh-high boots.

Forget the rest of the clothes.

Then get in the car and go over to his place (please drive safely because that’s just too generous of a Christmas present to give a stranger-cop.)  Bring a can of lighter fluid, and when he opens the door, hold it up and say, matter-of-factly, “I’m looking to make a cozy fire this cold, holiday evenin’... [drop your voice here] Got any wood?”

As he stands there with one brow cocked, let your coat fall open…   just enough to give him a slit-peak at Santa's landing strip.

When you get inside, slip out of the coat, toss it on the floor in front of his fireplace and get down on it, on all fours.  Look up at him, while in your best doggie-stylin’ position, and ask him if he’s ever made love in front of the fireplace atop a “bare-skinned” woman.   Let out your best li’l, sexy bear growl—“ Grrrr!”   Don’t forget to snarl a bit and you lift your ass in the air like a confrontational wild woman.

Give Him His Holiday Stocking Stuffed With Stuffers!

More from YourTango: 5 Dating Tips For Empowered Women

By stuffers, I mean things that can be stuffed inside you, sexy lady. Slip on your best pair of incognito sunglasses and get your perky ass over to the local sex shop for some dildos galore.  It ain’t just toys for tots this holiday season-- dirty, nasty man-boys like their dollies, too...  even if they are life-size and blown-up.

While in the shop, let go of your stale-cracker prude side and spend some dough on “rubber merriment”.  Hey, maybe those marketers are smart and creative and have a Christmas dildo on the market.  Ooh, better yet—a vibrating Menorah that lights up for after 8 long orgasms!  Fun!

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Ms. Kristina Marchant

Author

Is the man you love emotionally distant?  Maybe he runs hot then cold, or maybe he has slowly been distancing himself over time?  If so, you are have something in common with the women who read and follow my blog, ConnectWithHisHeart.com  Come take a look and sign up there for my free mini-course: "Why Men Fall In & Out Of Love...  And What You Can Do"

 

 

Location: Miami, FL
Credentials: Other
Other Articles/News by Ms. Kristina Marchant:

Molding Gentlemen: What Attracts A Man To A Woman

By

I haven’t been ‘out there’ in a few years, but I have quite a few single gal friends who frequent online dating sites and the bar scene.  Their shared tales are enough to make me want to repeat Carrie Fisher’s line in When Harry Met Sally; “Tell me I’ll never have to be out there again!”   Oh, yes, ... Read more

5 Dating Tips For Empowered Women

By

Too many women confuse feeling empowered with acting like a "ball-buster." Empowered dating is all about embracing and exposing your most uncomfortable, vulnerable and tender feelings. Empowered dating is about being brave enough to sit in the anxious, yucky, totally-out-of-your-comfort-zone feelings associated with letting down your guard. So how ... Read more

Secrets Of A Modern Enchantress

By

Are you hurting because of a man?  Do you feel like so many women—bewildered by the male mind?  Do you wish you could slip inside the psyche of the modern man and find the key to undying love? What is that thing, that essence, that vibe… that je ne sais quoi that makes a woman into an enchantress?! A goddess who can effortlessly ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
Gay Couple 2

The Safety Of Unhinging The Closet Door!

Gay marriage, gay families, gay adoption all teaching the world be in perfect harmony!

deep breath

How to Deal with Creepy Guys

How do you get rid of the creepy guy that you’re not interested in? You know, the ...

Sad Woman

5 Stages Of Grief During Divorce

Learn to recognize the stages of grieving over your divorce in order to heal and begin your new life

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS