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What you need to know so you don't let her slip away!
By Arlene Vasquez Washburn — Written on May 15, 2015
For many men, dating a single mom is a daunting step.
All the rules are changed. All the games they've mastered fall to the wayside. And trying to make sense of the lovely lady they are interested in becomes like solving the New York Times Crossword: You should be able to solve it, but sometimes the answers are just so elusive.
But if you're in love with a single mom, don't worry! Here are five major tips you need to know:
1. Acknowledge That Dating A Single Mom Is Different — There's A Child Involved
Be up front with yourself about the fact that this is an entirely different ball game. If things don't work out, you are disrupting more than just your life and hers. So start off by accepting the fact that honesty and communication are KEY in building a relationship with her and her child(ren). Practice patience and compassion from the beginning — you might end up winning over the most passionate, loving woman you've ever met! Keep in mind, moms are super selfless. Her family's needs are always before her own, so imagine being one of her family!
2. Respect The Ex
One of the biggest obstacles to dating single mothers is dealing with the ex, especially if he is active in caring for his children. If you are with an experienced single mom, there is no reason to be jealous or wary of a relationship developing between them! That is in the past. If you are with a newly single mother, there is the chance that she still has lingering feelings for her ex, so keep an eye out and communicate your thoughts to her. (You will probably find you are just being paranoid, but being honest is never a bad thing!)
Dating a woman with another man in the picture is going to be awkward, so again communication is key.
3. Realize That She Doesn't Have Time For Your Games
As you might imagine, single moms have a lot on their plates. Working, childcare, sports, school events … the list seems never-ending. So don’t waste your time (or her time) trying to play hard-to-get or control/manipulation games. She will probably decide you just aren't worth her time! As always, honesty is crucial, especially here: If you're interested, tell her. If not — or you're not sure what you want — tell her that too, and let her make an informed decision about you. Don't trick her into something you aren't even sure about!
On the plus side, single moms tend to know what they want from a relationship and will take away the guess work for you.
4. Do Something To Help Her Out
You've heard the phrase, "Actions speak louder than words." Well, in the lives of single moms, actions are what it's ALL about! And don't think that means she needs a grandiose gesture because moms are easy to pamper. Show her you care by helping out around the house, or offering to drive the kids so she can get that laundry finished and dinner cooked. Seeing a man take initiative can stop a mom’s heart, so you'll have her hooked!
5. Do Not Treat Her Like A Damsel In Distress — Because She Isn't
A common misconception about single moms is that they're just looking for a new man to rescue them from single mom-hood — that they'll be clingy and want to settle down immediately. Wrong! More than other women, single moms are now more wary about the long term commitment with a man they don't know, so they will be looking to really get to know you before considering that commitment step.
When dating a single mom, especially if she is newly single, trying to figure out her identity as a full-time, attentive mom versus a single woman who's dating can take some time! Let her talk things out with you, and don't take it personally. She's just trying to figure herself out. Enjoy and take advantage of your time with her because taking some of her precious time to build a relationship with you shows real interest.