I was at a friend's house the other night and a group of us began talking about dating criminals. I'm not completely sure how the discussion got started, but it had something to do with a recent case of a prison marriage that had been in the news. You know, one of those relationships where a prisoner starts getting mail from an ardent and obsessive fan (or whatever they are called) and they fall in love, get married, and live separate lives happily ever after.
Some of us were intrigued, others outraged, and a couple of women actually said they could understand the motivation. So I asked the question, could you date a criminal who was no longer in prison, and what would it take to make you date this criminal? Surprisingly, I got almost as many different answers as there were friends in the room. Here are three examples of the responses to give you an idea of their range.
More from YourTango: 10 Warning Signs That Your Husband Is Cheating
1. Learn to forgive. One view is that complete forgiveness means just that – forgiving anything. Of course there were many factors involved, but the actual crime committed could be the least important criteria. What really matters is the degree of redemption and remorse for the actions that the person had demonstrated. 4 Reasons You Might Want To Date A Criminal
After determining that the criminal is genuinely sorry for his crime, then other things that are more typical of people getting involved would come into play, such as compatibility, shared interests, common beliefs, and so on. And if you were to fall in love with the person, it was a good thing no matter what he had done in the past.
2. Once a criminal, always a criminal. Another view at the other end of the spectrum is that anyone who has served time is out of the romantic picture. Many people would be particularly concerned about what other people would think about such a relationship. It is thought by some that a criminal can never be a good person, a kind person, a considerate person, and so on.
More from YourTango: 10 Pros & Cons Of Online Dating
Needless to say, this extreme view is a little unpopular. After all, what if there was some doubt about his guilt? Or what if he had done something that the victim had forgiven him for and he was honestly sorry about doing? There seems to be a large grey area regarding this question. Online Dating Safety: 7 Signs He's A Criminal
More dating advice from YourTango: