4 Steps To Get Back on Your Feet After a Rejection

By

4 Steps To Get Back on Your Feet After a Rejection
Rejection can impede growth and can happen to everyone, whether you are single or in a relationship.

Sometimes after a breakup or a rejection it can take an awfully long time to get back into either the dating game or just into feeling secure with yourself as a whole again.

Rejection can happen in any relationship, it can happen in long-term relationships and it can happen in dating, it can happen through friends and family, it can happen in the workplace. Rejection is somewhat a part of life, however, quite often, rejection is internalized somewhere so deep we don't even realize the effect it has taken on us.

The natural human desire is to avoid rejection via various forms of self-protection. Self-protection can be seen in many ways, and most people don't even realize they are doing it. Sometimes apathy is a form of self-protection. Quite often these people may appear cold, callous, uninterested in relationships, aloof, disinterested. Another self-protection may be in the form of being a player, sleeping around, with many women (or men) with no intention of following through and often with the intention of actually doing some harm, doing some form of rejecting in return, which may often make some people feel better. Other forms of self-protection include isolation, avoidance, staying away from social situations, avoiding dating and any signs of love, intimacy and relationships altogether. Self-protection occurs because people no longer wish to be harmed, and feel they must somehow take a more active stance in their own protection. However, in the long run, this often leaves people angry, bitter and disillusioned. There is a certain amount of dishonesty with the self that actually goes on when we try our darnd-est to avoid getting hurt.  So perhaps we avoid getting hurt, but at what cost? At the cost of being vulnerable, at the cost of surrendering, at the cost of finding a true connection with someone, and at the cost of true growth.

Keep reading...
 

More dating advice from YourTango

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Moushumi Ghose

Sex Therapist

Moushumi Ghose, MFT specializes in sex and relationships and is based in New York City and Los Angeles.

She is the host of The Sex Talk, a web-series dedicated to raising awarenes about sex, and sexuality, and has made several TV and media appearances including Hollywood Today The Girl Spot, Durex Condoms and Investigation Discoveries as a sex expert. 

Visit her website at www.LASexTherapist.com

Subscribe to The Sex Talk Series at www.TheSexTalkSeries.com

Listen to podcasts at Sex, Love and Rock 'N' Roll Radio.

Mou is the author of Marriage, Money and Porn, available on Amazon, and is currently writing her second book, about non-monogamous sex. 

Follow Moushumi on Twitter @MoushumiAmour and Facebook

Location: New York, NY
Credentials: LMFT, MA, MFT
Other Articles/News by Moushumi Ghose:

4 Rules for Respectful, Self Aware Sexual Non Monogamy

By

So, are you single and the idea of hook up culture appeals to you?  Or maybe you want to be in an open relationship and like the idea of non-committal sex but things often get complicated in the process. Because of oxytocin, and a whole slew of other factors, maybe sex with no strings attached is sometimes more of an ideal than a realistic endeavor, and ... Read more

Ditch The Clothes And Love Your Birthday Suit!

By

We are such a clothed society. As a soceity we definitely like to show a lot of skin, we like fashion that exposes the midriff, the shoulders, short skirts that show off legs, low cut blowses that show some cleavage, but when it comes down to it, at the end of the day, nudity as a whole is something that is not highly accepted, nor is it publically legal in ... Read more

Yes! 6 Steps to Having Healthy Hook Ups

By

I read a lot of articles bashing "hook up culture" — its a term du jour, kind of like "menage a trois" was in the 80's — but this term unlike the latter, is not associated with being sex positive and it's usually not written about in a positive light. We live in a society where it often seems like we ... Read more

See More

PARTNER POSTS