Why Men Are Settling For Mrs. Good Enough

to the YourTango newsletter!

FIND AN EXPERT
Advanced SearchKimberly SeltzerDr. Erica  GoodstoneJennifer Chappell Marsh MFT Intern #65184
ProConnect

6 Tips On Taking Your Online Date Offline [EXPERT]

By . Posted on .

6 Tips On Taking Your Online Date Offline [EXPERT]
6 tips on getting your online crush to meet you offline - and why sooner is better than later

I read a rather scathing article yesterday in the UK's Guardian newspaper on the pitfalls of online dating. As a long-term professional in the industry - and as someone who met their current SO online - I really wanted to write a positive post today about finding love on the 'net.

Interestingly, the crux of this piece was the assertion that you can fall for the 'details' of someone's online persona - their interests, their physical apperance, their political beliefs - but those details don't tell you anything about the man/woman behind the profile.

This is something I utterly agree with - though I do think, in the digital age, online daters are not so naiive when it comes to this issue. We hear enough horror stories about people lying about their height (and their income, their baldness.. ) that we enter the online dating world at best skeptical and at worst disillusioned. But should the possibiity of mild deception put us off dating online all together?

No, it shouldn't. Instead, I feel we should recognise the online dating platform for what it is - a great opportunity to meet new people outside of your typical social enviroment. We know from statistics that people do find love online, but the online dating site should be the catalyst that starts potential relationships, rather than the place where those relationships are played out. By taking things offline sooner, we avoid being sucked in by someone's constrcution of themselves, and get straight to evaluating the real them. In person. Over a coffee.

Here are my 6 tips for taking your online crush offline - from conception to the actual date -

1) Keep your messages friendly, but don't go OTT - If you start with "I seriously fancy you", there's not much room to backtrack if you realise you don't. That's why it's best to keep thing platonic online when chatting to a potential date. Try not to romanticise things early on; rather focus on your mutual interests and chat like you would with a new friend. After all - that's all they are, for now at least...

2) Don't say too much - and think about what you write - Online, people read into everything we type. The absense of body-language and voice mean other humans will try hard to gauge 'who you are' from what you write. As we all know, this is impossible, but it does mean that your words are massively open to interpretation. That's why facts, rather than feelings, are better communicated online. The safest way to protect yourself against misinterpreation is to keep things short and sweet and focus on mutual likes rather than more emotive topics.

3) Don't wait too long to suggest meeting up - Once you've introduced yourselves and chatted casually, don't wait too long to ask them out. You don't want an online conversation to go on for weeks and weeks, only to find you don't get on in real life. Also, there is always the possibility that they don't want to meet up at all. A considerable proportion of online daters chat to boost their ego and procrasinate at work - don't waste your time with time wasters.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Miss Rosie Freeman-Jones

Organization, Relationship Coach, Sex Educator, Sex Therapist, Speaker/Presenter

Rosie Freeman-Jones

Extra-Marital Relationship Expert

Location: London, LND, United Kingdom
Credentials: Other
Other Articles/News by Miss Rosie Freeman-Jones:

Drunk cheating : does it count?

By

How responsible is someone for their drunken cheating? Is it possible to innocently fall into the arms of another when you’re wasted? These are the questions I’ve been pondering this week. People’s feelings about drunken cheating usually tend to depend on their own experiences. If they’re someone who has accidentally snogged a friend ... Read more

Who Is Most Likely To Stray From Their Marriage? [EXPERT]

By

I've just conducted my first ever comprehensive study into religion and cheatingand can reveal that, shockingly, Roman Catholics are the most adulterous religious group in England. /node/118879 The statistics, which were gathered from a database of over 600,000 cheating spouses on IllicitEncounters.com, show that 21.5% of members on the extra-marital ... Read more

Russell and Katy Split On Worst Week of Year for Marriage

By

Russell Brand and Katy Perry’s marital split has happened in the worst month of the year for marriages.  Another of my survey's for IllicitEncounters.com has confirmed it - January is harder on couples than any other month. Statistics show that the 4th of January is the day most married people either think about embarking on an affair or ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
Beauty

Wired and Tired?

Do you know in our constant state of connecting, we have forgotten how to take it easy and just be?

Press Conference

DeMistyfy Your Dating: Radio Interview: [EXPERT]

And yes, we spelled it that way for a reason! Listen to this humorous interview of Spike and learn!

Running Woman

Post-Divorce Growth…After They Go, Grow [EXPERT]

Identify your positive changes post-divorce. Make it a growth experience!

Have a dating or relationship question?
Ask it here and one of our experts will answer it.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
FROM OUR PARTNERS