Mt, Kisco, NY
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You can't be too smart when it come to divorce. The more you know, the better it will go. How you behave now will affect the rest of you life and your children and (future) ...
If you have found me on Your Tango, it’s likely that you are contemplating, going through or recovering from divorce— one of life's most painful and upsetting challenges. Whether you want the divorce or your spouse does, it’s a very unsettling time when important decisions must be made.
There are ways to make it easier and ways to make it more difficult. It’s important to know that YOU can guide the process of divorce and its aftermath in a more positive or negative direction. Your attitude and the way you manage your life and relationships can make an enormous difference in your own mental health and that of your children. You can’t control what others say and do, but you can control your own actions and monitor your reactions. You will be contributing to either making things work or making things worse. Becoming more savvy is the best thing you can do for yourself.
Divorce is my area of expertise and a 20-year focus. After getting to know a bit of your story, we can talk about various topics like:
• Should I divorce now or wait?
• How to discuss divorce with my spouse
• How, what and when to tell the children about the separation and divorce
• Discuss the benefits and drawbacks of mediation, collaboration and litigation
• How to choose an attorney and ways to work with one
• Why relationship with your ex is a necessity
I have been through divorce myself and have the long view of 20 years of post-divorce experience, both in my own family and in working with others. Today I am remarried, a mother of four adult children, a grandmother of three and a clinical social worker, a collaborative divorce coach, psychotherapist and divorce specialist. From both a 20-year personal and 10-year professional perspective, I know there are many ways to get through divorce. None of them are easy. I would like to provide relevant information and assistance so you can move on in the best way possible for you and your family.
To schedule a complimentary consultation, go to my online scheduler at https://www.timetrade.com/book/SBN96. I look forward to speaking with you.
The Reason I Became A Helping Professional
After my own divorce in 1993, I decided to use the tools I learned in AlAnon and start a divorce support group. I wanted to practice the Twelve Steps as I pulled my life together after my divorce and have the support of a like-minded community. It turned out to be the most important decision I made and led me to the work I do now.
I went back to school to complete my bachelors and masters degrees in order to help others go through their divorce in a sane and compassionate way. Through my work in the group, that has been running for 20 years, I knew about the damage being done by an adversarial approach. I knew there had to be a better way.
Although I work with adults, my passion is to help parents handle their divorce in a way that protects their own sanity and the mental health of their children. No one wants to hurt their kids, but mistakes are made because people are emotional and stressed. As Maya Angelou says, "When we know better, we do better."
Parents came to me for guidance about their upcoming separation. Their daughters are 12 and 15 and wanted to help the girls adapt to their dad living apart from them. We discussed how and what to tell them.
In this family, mom has been the parent in charge since she is home and dad works in a corporation. They rely on mom for most things but on dad for homework. Like many dads with teen daughters, communication can be difficult between them at times.
We made a plan. The girls knew about the separation and when it was happening. Dad moved out on a day when mom had the girls visiting family. The next day, dad took the girls to his new apartment. Although it's much smaller than the marital home, he showed the girls an area they can make it their own. He suggested a couple of chairs, an area rug, and perhaps a desk that they might choose themselves. He asked for their ideas about decorating the apartment. At first, they hesitated, saying they didn't know much about interior design, but they were flattered to be asked and were happy their dad needed their help.This is a great way for a dad to engage with teen daughters and was very successful.
It's important for children to see themselves in the home of the parent living outside of the family home. This is helped by having their pictures in obvious places, items they have made displayed, a space that's their own, and their favorite food in the fridge or pantry. These ideas help children feel connected, even if not living together full time.
|Credentials||CSW, LMSW, MSW|
|Time in Practice||10 years +|
Divorce Recovery Coach
|I offer my services||At my office|
|I am fluent in||English|
|Licence information||Expiration 5/31/15|