Is your marriage on the road to ruin?
Do you have what it takes to create a successful marriage? I've identified three major relationship killers that might put a damper on your efforts—emotional immaturity, selfishness and instant gratification.
Emotional maturity is something some folks never accomplish, no matter how many years they live. I propose that immaturity, self-centered behavior, and the desire for instant gratification are three reasons why marriages fail. These behaviors, combined with the attitude of "if it does not work out, we will just go our separate ways," contribute to a high divorce rate.
1. Lacking emotional maturity.
Some people live by the maxim, "I may grow old, but I refuse to grow up." This is humorous when printed on a T-shirt, but when people take this attitude into their marriages they set themselves and their relationship up for misery. This doesn't mean you have to be serious all the time, it just means you cannot allow your emotions to rule you and affect how you behave toward your spouse.
2. Being self-centered. (Psst! It's NOT the same as taking care of yourself.)
You must take care of yourself if you are fully present for your loved ones. Being selfish is all about the "me first" attitude. "My needs are more important than yours" is the rally cry of the self-centered person. These people tend to criticize and blame, rather than looking at his/her own behavior. A self-centered person sees nothing wrong with manipulating her spouse to get her way. A self-centered person thinks nothing of putting his family in danger by drinking and driving.
3. Looking for instant gratification.
Since the advent of fast food, we seem to have become an instant gratification society. "I want it in 30 seconds, and I want it hot, tasty and inexpensive." For some people, if everything is not perfect and to their liking, they tend to resort to complaints about their marriage. They think of their marriage as fast food, not of fine dining. It becomes a disposable commodity instead of something to treasure and enjoy.
Marriage requires maintenance to make it successful. It requires extra work if you are engaging in these damaging behaviors. The good news is that you, too, can create a happier marriage if you are willing to begin with yourself.
Are you willing to put in the time and energy to help your marriage become a strong one? If so, you can do it. You don't have to do it alone. Relationship coaching can help you create a happy and healthy marriage. You can begin with this e-book and audio about 10 secrets for creating the marriage of your dreams.