Three Relationship Killers: Emotional Immaturity, Selfishness, and Instant Gratification


Three Relationship Killers: Emotional Immaturity, Selfishness, and Instant Gratification

Do you have what it takes to create a successful marriage?

I've identified three major relationship killers: emotional immaturity, selfishness and instant gratification.


Emotional maturity is something some folks never accomplish, no matter how many years they live. I propose that immaturity, self-centered behavior, and the desire for instant gratification are three reasons why marriages fail. All of these behaviors combined with the attitude of "if it does not work out, we will just go our separate ways" contribute to a high divorce rate.

What is emotional immaturity? Some people live by the maxim, "I may grow old, but I refuse to grow up." This may be humorous when seen on a T-shirt, but when people take this attitude into their marriages, they are setting themselves and their relationship up for misery. This does not mean that you have to be serious all the time; far from it. It just means that you cannot allow your emotions to rule you and to affect how you behave toward your spouse.

Self-centered behavior is not the same as taking care of yourself. You must take care of yourself if you are going to be fully present for your loved ones. No, being self-centered or selfish is all about the "me first" attitude. "My needs are more important than yours" is the rally cry of the self-centered person. A self-centered person tends to criticize and blame rather than looking at her/his own behavior. A self-centered person sees nothing wrong with manipulating her spouse to get her way. A self-centered person thinks nothing of putting his family in danger by drinking and driving.

What about instant gratification? Since the advent of fast food, we seem to have become more of an instant gratification society. "I want it in 30 seconds and I want it hot and tasty and inexpensive." For some people, if everything is not perfect and to their liking, they tend to resort to complaints about their marriage. They think of their marriage like fast food instead of fine dining. It becomes a disposable commodity instead of something to be treasured and enjoyed.

Marriage requires maintenance to make it successful. It will require extra work if you are engaging in these damaging behaviors. The good news is that you, too, can create a happier marriage if you are willing to begin with yourself. Are you willing to put in the time and energy to help your marriage become a strong one? If so, you can do it. You do not have to do it alone; relationship coaching can help. Are you ready to improve your marriage? Relationship coaching can help you create a happy and healthy marriage.

You can begin with this e-book and audio about 10 secrets for creating the marriage of your dreams.

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