Dating: Take it Slow and Get to Know Him

When you are dating, you may rush prematurely into a relationship, close your eyes and hope for the best, and leap into the middle of a relationship before you are certain whether this particular person is right for you.

No, you're not a teenager. You may be in your 20's, 30's, or even your 40's and beyond and still be making these ill-fated decisions. Are you flawed? Are you mental? No, you're not. You may actually have great values and make wonderful decisions in every other area of your life.

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Unfortunately for you, when it comes to dating and finding romance, you may be listening to the part of your brain that urges you to "be fruitful and multiply." These are the hormones your brain secretes when it wants to mate. Sadly, these hormones only want you to procreate; they have no sense of what a good relationship looks like. They don't really care if you meet the man of your dreams. They don't care whether you are happy as long as you do your duty to propagate the species.

So is it hopeless, then? Are you subject to your body's programming with no ability to choose a successful partnership? Of course not! You can balance your heart with your head. It is not easy, which is why so many women get involved with men who are totally inappropriate for them.

What should you do to keep yourself from giving into your hormone's message to just mate with any man you are attracted to? Here are some things for you to consider:

1. Understand your values so that you can seek someone who has similar ones.

2. Know yourself well enough, especially your drives, dreams, life goals, so that you can seek someone who will enhance them, not trample them.

3. Understand that in a relationship you will be influenced and you will "lose" part of yourself. If you gain more than you "give up" then it's probably safe to proceed. Only you can decide this, however.

4. Do some work to understand your strengths and weaknesses. Your weaknesses can tell you a lot about why you have chosen certain people in your life.

5. Allow yourself to be attracted to a man without having to do anything about it. Take your time. Get to know him and see if he is a potential match before you are moving toward the bedroom! You are not a slave to those hormones!

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If you want to give yourself a chance to find, attract, and keep the right man for you, take your time and really understand who you are and what you must have to create a happy, successful relationship. Don't be so eager to jump into the middle of a relationship. Savor the beginning so that you can drift slowly, but purposefully, into the middle. You'll be glad you did!

Join my upcoming webinar workshop on Conscious Dating: Relationship Success Training for Singles. They are held regularly, with the next one starting on October 13, 2010. For more information, click here: http://trueloverelationshipcoach.com/cdworkshop.html. If you haven't gotten my free report for singles yet, you can get it now at http://trueloverelationshipcoaching.com.