What Every Woman Over 30 Ought To Know About Meeting "The One"

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What Every Woman Over 30 Ought To Know About Meeting "The One"
You'll find out that all that experience will ensure a healthier relationship in the future.

1. You've graduated from the "learning years" 

After a decade (or more) of learning from the players, phonies and frauds in your twenties, you're more able to spot the man you really want.

2. Know your values and let them be known.

Nowadays, in the new science of relationships, it's values that keep couples together. It keeps them passionate, loving and in love until they are on the front porch, sipping lemonade in his and hers rocking chairs. 

When a situation comes up that would compromise your values, let him know. Here's a simple template you can customize for your situation:

"Hey, I can understand you like that. It's not my thing. If you want to do that, it's fine, but I won't be involved." When you do, he'll respect you. Respect for you is the first ingredient in true love for a man.

3. Imperfection is sexy.

Photoshop is lame. Despite what magazine covers, tabloids and reality tv shows would convince you of, most men don't want to fall in love with a "perfect woman." Good lord, can you imagine the pressure? Men with small penis fears all over would be heading to the psychologist's couch if he dated her. 

Instead, it's the cracks that let the light in. Show those quirks, those weird things you like and the interesting way you see the world. In short time, those quirks and weirdnesses become the things he loves about you most

4. He wants your "V" most of all.

Of course, he wants that "V" too, but the "V" he wants most is your vulnerability. When you were a little girl and imagined being swept away, the guy was always some sort of hero. Now, decades later, the guy you want still wants to be your hero. He needs to see your vulnerability to do it. Scary? Yes. Rewarding? Absolutely.

5. Love is in the air.

According to a survery I read recently, about 88 percent of men want to get married, have a family and be monogamous. Knowing that, be proud of your desire to get married. You don't have to hide it or apologize for it.

You don't have to throw it down like a gauntlet the first time you're sharing a hazelnut latte. Simply enter your relationships proudly with the frame of mind that you want to be married. 

6. Allow him to speak from the heart.

You want to know a secret about men? They're terrified of you. They don't know what to say. They're afraid of looking dumb. They're afraid of disappointing you. Most of all, they're afraid of your rejection. 

Soften up. Be tender. I can hear some of you objecting; you don't want to be a doormat. I don't want that for you either. Being tender doesn't mean being a door mat. Stand up for yourself when you need to. Being tender until then, gives you the strength to do just that. 

7. Your marriage is going to be awesome.

According to TheKnot.com, women who get married in their thirties are much happier, get divorced way less and stay happily married much longer than women who get married in their twenties. So take that, you twenty somethings.

Want some help in finding the one? Click here to apply for personal coaching. 

 

 

More on being single from YourTango: 

Article contributed by

Michael Griswold

Relationship Coach

Michael Griswold

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