The ideas behind how to make new relationships work may be easier than you realize!
New relationships are exciting: They make us smile, they make our heart race, and though we had a six-inch chicken teriyaki from Subway for lunch, they make us feel like we ate butterflies. There is no doubt about it or way around it. New love is often the best love. In fact, because these partnerships are so great, we often find ourselves wondering how to make new relationships work. In other words, we don't want to screw it up and end a good thing before it truly even begins.
If you were to ask Debbie Downer just how to make new relationships work she would probably tell you that you don't. And while Debbie is sometimes correct because you certainly aren't going to live happily ever after with every single person you've dated, she isn't exactly someone we'd bring to a party.
Because, in our view, the question of how to make new relationships work can be applicable to just about any situation, whether you are going forward with that office romance or thinking about emailing that cute guy you saw on Plenty of Fish. You know, the one with the dimples. So, when thinking about how to make new relationships work, look no further than below.
- Take Things Slow
Oh, the clichéness of it all! "Take things slow" is a relationship advice equivalent to what a butterfly tatoo on the lower back or a Chinese lettering on the wrist is to female tattoos. But, there's a reason this advice is doled out with such frequency: It works. The part that gets tricky, however, is that taking things slow can mean different things to different people. To some, it may mean not having sex for the first eight dates, to others it may mean not having sex for the first eight hours. Decide what it means to the both of you and go from there.
- Listen To Your Gut
"When you know you know" is that super annoying phrase that happy couples tell their single friends. Yes, it's aggravating, but it's also accurate. Some people may know right away, others may take a bit longer, but when you find a relationship that can truly work, you really do know! Thus, listen to your gut. If it's telling you that something about this new union is too difficult, too weird, or just too ridiculous, then proceed with caution (or, better yet, Do Not Enter).
- Don't Set Rules
Of all the advice behind how to make new relationships work, not setting rules may be the most important words of wisdom. Though men do it sometimes, setting rules is more of a female flaw. Some of these rules may have to do with sex, others may have to do with meeting the best friend or parents. Yet, new relationships aren't a place for rules. Setting restrictions limits the relationship's ability to prosper, thus ultimately reducing the chances of it being successful. So, take things as they come and simply enjoy each other.
- Weigh Flaws With Reason
If you were to compose a list of peoples' favorite past-times, it really wouldn't involve things like long walks on the beach or baseball. Instead, it would list things like assuming and judging. We can't help it really, we are simply programmed to have opinions and thoughts about others. But, putting too much credence into these opinions can take the air out of a new relationship faster than letting go of a balloon you forgot to tie. Some flaws may of course be deal-breakers—they are rude, they are racist, they insist on speaking in the third person—but most can be overlooked. Who knows, the flaws you initially found annoying may grow to become endearing.
- Let Go Of The Past
Breakups are like birth canals: We've all been through one. But, to truly make a new relationship work, you must let go of the past, and especially the fear, anger and resentment that past evoked. If you bring your bitterness into a new relationship, it has about as much chance of succeeding as the Detroit Lions do winning a Super Bowl. In other words, not even Barry Sanders will get you the ring.
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