Do you spend an inordinate amount of your time making a mental list of what you DO NOT want in a partner? According to noted hypnotherapist Roy Hunter, when you engage in this type of thinking you are demonstrating the LAW OF REVERSED EFFECT.
The subconscious tends to ignore negative statements, causing the imagination to focus on the reverse. To illustrate, take a deep breath in. Close your eyes and relax. Now, you MUST NOT think of a tiger!
How did you respond? In your imagination, did you see, or hear, the tiger? Most people almost immediately imagine one. When you tell the mind NOT to do something, it creates the fantasy of what is to be avoided.
Imagination is the language of the subconscious. Because of the way words impact the subconscious through the language of imagination, the law of reversed effect influences all of us at one time or another.
As you engage in the process of dating, focus on what you desire in a partner versus what you DO NOT want. Purchase a journal and title it "My Soul Mate." Begin to jot down what characteristics you are seeking in a mate, the values that have to be in alignment with yours, the life style and the activities that you would enjoy doing together. These are just some examples; let your imagination run wild.
After completing this exercise, begin to make a vision board depicting what you have written in your Soul Mate journal. The purpose of a vision board is to help stimulate the reticular activating system (RAS) in your mind. This is part of your brain that filters out external information and focuses on those things that are important to you. Begin to cut out words and pictures associated with your soul mate. Periodically viewing the vision board will reinforce your subconscious through your RAS.
According to Arielle Ford, best selling author of The Soul Mate Secret, you can enhance the process of calling in your soul mate by using the method of feelization. It is often described as the "surround sound" of vision boards. It is about dreaming and getting your body and your energy centers involved. How does your heart center feel when you think about meeting your soul mate? Does it open and flutter? When you really feel something is in your reality, your heart may beat faster; you may feel a bit of excitement, joy and well-being. It's not just about seeing the situation; it is about encompassing the FEELINGS behind the visualization.
"Feelization" is the key to creation. Take the time to create your vision of what you are seeking in a soul mate and then conjure up these feelings. Let go of any timeline and trust that the person you are looking for is answering your calling.
Melinda P. Neisser, MS, CDCP, CH
Founder, Path Seekers Life Coaching
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