10 Ways To Get Out Of Sex

By

10 Ways To Get Out Of Sex
...even if you thought you wanted it! Here's how to make it safer before your date.

I am not here to say sex is right or wrong—it isn’t…right or wrong. It’s a biological function often associated with heavy breathing, sucking face, and a bleary anticipation, however repressed, of Happily Ever After… unless, of course, it’s not! Which is rare, unless you’re a pro at shutting off your feeling center. In any case, it’s precisely the After part that I am after right here and now. Because the After part generally doesn’t always pan out—no matter how cool, free or independent you believe you are, the stats are in. Things that can go wrong after sex, all too often do.

Here are a few reminders: unwanted pregnancy in the US is skyrocketing; one in four teenage girls has a sexually transmitted disease. 21-30 percent of college students report at least one occurrence of physical assault with a dating partner. And every day 5-11 women are killed by a male intimate partner. Not to mention the effects of low self-esteem, shame and remorse on our psyches, compounded over time. Some scars we carry the burden of forever, some we can hide. All of them affect our spirit and soul whether we know it or not.

 

Once upon a time, my counseling office was filled with women filing in and out, crying their eyes out after the fact, wondering where it all went wrong? And I would say to them what I have said to myself and what I am about to say to you. "Stop right there. Get up. Walk over to a mirror and there is your answer. You want to know what the common denominator is in all your relationships? You’re looking at her! Ouch. I know, he is a jerk or at least he’s acting like one, and yes, he did screw you over, cheat, lie, take your money, come over for repeated booty call. Yes, yes, yes, okay, so he was being a big, fat, old, hairy loser! Got it. But, bottom line, you, we, let it happen. And you are not alone."

But there is something you can do about it:

1) Slow down. In fact, slow way down. Love has no shelf life. If he’s really in to you, has genuine feelings for you, he will respect your need to stop and wait. Even if you’re stripped down to your birthday suit, you still have the right to change your mind! A real man, while he may not like it, will respect your wish.

2)Drive your own car. Meet your friend wherever you are going so you aren’t dependent on them to get you out of a situation you suddenly don’t want to be in. At minimum, bring enough money for a taxi.

3)Don’t drink too much. Being intoxicated affects your reasoning skills.

4)Don’t invite him/her in. Even if you’re in the middle of heavy petting and the next obvious step is to get a room. Use the break in action to speak up and change your mind. There is no crime or shame in that!

5)Have a plan. Before you go out make sure you tell your friend, “Look, I have to be home early because I have a big day tomorrow,” etc. This way you are less likely to give in, especially if you’re feeling lonely. And make an apt. for that early morning; book a massage, an early morning conference call, or a class that starts at some unGodly hour.

This article was originally published at Maryanne Live . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Maryanne Comaroto

Author

Maryanne Comaroto

Website:  http://www.maryannelive.com

Radio Shows:  Maryanne Live

Next live show:

Maryanne Live! at 2pm PT June 3, on www.maryannelive.com. with Eric Maisel, author of Why Smart People Hurt: A Guide for the Bright, the Sensitive, and the Creative.

"Inner-Views on Love and Relationship"

Location: Greenbrae, CA
Credentials: CHT
Other Articles/News by Maryanne Comaroto:

Pro-Life? How About Pro-Dad?

By

First, this is a rant, not a blog. I hope you will indulge me anyway. There are few things I feel more passionate about, and I know I am not alone. Having been a single mom for over ten years, I know so many of you can, do and will relate. And I must warn you, it's rated R, so I apologize in advance for any offense that may occur. Here we ... Read more

Let's See How Far We've Come

By

I just have to share some of the things I learned in my philosophy class. Dr. Schreibman is a brilliant teacher, and you won't believe what I'm finding out!: In ancient western civilization (700-300 BCE) women were relegated to three primary roles: wife, slave or prostitute. During this period they were further regarded as men's legal wards. ... Read more

The Man Down the Street

By

I recently received the following questions. Many of us have felt these painful feelings and in my response I want to try to alleviate human suffering.  Dear Anonymous, Thank you for reaching out and then taking care to clarify things for me. My heart goes out to you during this difficult time and I will do my best to answer your questions here and ... Read more

See More

 
PARTNER POSTS
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Must-see Videos
SEE MORE VIDEOS
Most Popular