10 questions to help you smell a rat...or find out if you are one!
A friend passed away suddenly; a shock to us all, but to none more than to his bride of twenty-some years. My heart went out to this brave woman and her 3 children who watched their lives change dramatically without any warning. She told me that it was all so surreal—one day he was laughing and telling her a story that made her laugh so hard she was crying, and the next day she was watching him curl up in a fetal position, and then he was gone. Just like that. How To Date Again After Losing A Husband
Yet at the reception after the memorial, instead of drowning in her tears (which we would imagine is what most of us would do), she wanted to talk about what a great, loving father and husband he was. And about how funny and generous he was, how many people's lives he touched and how blessed she was to have had twenty years with him. Yes, her eyes were puffy and blurred with mascara, but as sad as she was, she was genuinely grateful and proud to have spent this chapter of her life with such a man. You could feel it was true.
On the ride home tears spilled down my cheeks, as the truth of her words about her husband were also true for me, in a smaller yet significant way. This man has indeed touched my life; his generosity and beautiful spirit has definitely made a difference to me and my family. And then I felt this wave of inspiration fill my heart. A reaffirmation of why I do what I do and do it with such passion. To help people find what my girlfriend found with her beloved husband, however long they were blessed to share that together.
People ask me all the time how to have a great relationship, or if I think they are ready. I usually ask them the same two questions: What do you want and what are you willing to do about it?
Then I direct them to my Relationship Aptitude Test, or RAT, which helps you smell a rat—or find out if you are one. It's multiple choice. Take your time when completing it.
Q1: When is it okay to date someone who is already in a relationship? How I Finally Left My 25-Year Affair With A Married Man
1. Human beings are not monogamous creature
2. As long as they don't really want to be with that person
3. I'd rather wait until they are available
Q2: How long should you wait before you get sexually intimate with someone?
1. It depends on how well I know the person
2. If it feels good, do it
3. Two or three dates, unless it's love at first sight
Q3: Does it matter how someone's relationships have ended in the past?
1. Some people just bring out the worst in each other
2. That was then and this is now
3. I am attracted to people who keep their side of the street clean
Q4: Does God matter in a relationship?
1. Not believing in God doesn't make you a bad person
2. I think it's key to a relationship to be spiritually compatible God Told My Fiancé And I To Stop Having Sex — So We Did
3. To each his own
Q5: When you should bring up marriage or commitment?
1. Be upfront about what you want; you both deserve that
2. You should just go with the flow
3. Not until you're sure it won't scare them away
Q6: At what point do you talk about kids or birth control?
1. Love me, love my kids...and know that whatever I do, I am responsible for
2. If you have them, wait to bring them up; if you don't, wait until they mention it
3. Have a condom and don't say anything you'll regret later How To Get Him To Use Protection
Q7: When and how do you talk about STDs?
1. I would assume someone would tell me if they were sick or had some disease
2. ASAP and gracefully
3. You can tell when people are clean and healthy—and always bring a condom
Q8: Does it matter if someone you are with has been incarcerated?
1. Everyone deserves a second chance
2. As long as it wasn't murder
3. Depends on what for
Q9: Does everyone need a purpose in life?
1. I just want them to be happy
2. Absolutely—or in sincere pursuit
3. As long as it isn't me
Q10: Do you believe in Happily Ever After? Why Marriage Doesn't Always Equal Happily Ever After
1. I don't need to anymore
2. I believe in the pre-nuptial agreements
3. Sure, who doesn't want that?
Send us back your score like this: Q1 = (your choice of 1, 2, or 3), Q2 = (your choice), etc. Mail your score to firstname.lastname@example.org and let us know you took the quiz on YourTango, and we'll send you the results. Find out if you need an X-termination, need to lay off the cheese, or if you are a cheese connoisseur!
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This article was originally published at Maryanne Live . Reprinted with permission from the author.