Everything gets better when you love yourself first!
The words "love yourself" are so prevalent in the personal development world and in life in general. You are told that "you don’t love yourself" enough, that’s why things never work out for you. The internet bombards us daily with quotes and information, telling us to love ourselves, and there are many ways to go about amp-ing that self-love and self-esteem quota.
Through my personal experience and having worked with many clients the following 3 points are imperative to supporting you to really know what it means to fall in love with yourself:
1. Remember that you ARE enough.
Most people walk around believing that they are not enough. This belief stems from childhood and it gains momentum throughout a person’s life. Think about what you say to yourself everyday. You're not pretty enough, skinny enough, smart enough or successful enough. How much of these thoughts race through your mind?
So what happens is, your behavior and actions don't come from a true place. Rather, you are constantly either walking around life having experiences that mirror your belief that you are not enough, or you are doing things to gain appreciation and acceptance to prove that you are enough. The problem is you are not functioning as your true self, but rather as an agenda that comes from believing that you're not enough.
I am here to tell you that you are enough! You always have been enough, no matter what! Let go of all the negative ideas and beliefs that told you that you're not good enough. Free yourself and know the truth.
2. Embrace your imperfections.
We all have parts of ourselves which we hide from the world, the parts that we are totally ashamed of. We do everything in our power not to reveal our insecurities and fears. We wear masks to hide the shadow parts because we fear that if anyone knew the real us, they won't like us. The truth is, it is we who don’t like ourselves because we have not embraced these disowned parts of ourselves.
To love yourself fully you need to accept and not judge your imperfections. They are there for you to acknowledge them and learn from them. By denying and resisting them, we say to ourselves that we will not love ourselves fully until they disappear. The key to really loving ourselves for real is to love all parts of ourselves and come into whole-ness.
3. Let grace lead the way.
Grace is the divine presence of goodness and love. It overrides everything that we ever believed about ourselves and life. It does not buy into evil, fear or anything that makes us feel miserable, powerless and in victim hood.
Grace comes from a pure place of benevolent love. It lifts us up out of our petty ideas and beliefs about who we think we are and how we need to function in world. It does not ask anything from us other than knowing that it is here for us and has always been here. It will lead us to loving ourselves and others.
We can’t love others if we don’t love ourselves first.
By letting go of what is not true and what does not support us, we open the door to let grace in, to wrap us up in her arms and lift us out of the mediocre beliefs about ourselves and life that we have settled for.
Mary Paleologos is the creator of Metamorphosis Life Transformation she supports clients let go of limiting beliefs and behaviors to transform their life so they can live their potential. You can learn more about her practice here or contact her directly on firstname.lastname@example.org.
This article was originally published at Metamorphosis Life Transformation. Reprinted with permission from the author.